A Heart Filled With Regret
by RuthlessXenomorph
Summary: It's just a normal time, obstacles here and there, a death or two, and some blockhead leaf ninja constantly trying to take Sasuke back. The usual. But then, it all changes in an instant. Yaoi included
1. Routine Run

Chapter 1

The room is dark, black in all corners with the exception of the melting candle standing limp on a metal plater, dimly revealing the splintering wood of the table set across from the door-across from me. I lounge on a flimsy spring bed standing on four weak, wooden legs. My arm drapes over the knee pulled up to my chest, my fingers mentally tracing the swirl carvings in the walls-the carvings I can't see.

The door creaks.

I stiffen, refraining from looking to my right.

A shadow peers in.

I can't tell who it is, and their silhouette looks foreign, yet familiar.

In the next moment, the door closes.

That's odd.

Everyone knows this is my room, directly to the left of Lord Orochimaru's throne. If they wanted something, one, they would knock. A common courtesy suddenly lost. And two, they wouldn't be afraid to tell me anything-normally it's only orders anyhow, so it's not like a personal confession where feelings have to be involved. And i haven't met anyone who's shy yet-that's here anyway.

Reluctantly, I rock myself to my feet and step towards the door. Opening it slightly, I can see a shadow lingering in the hallway, peeking into the room across from mine. My head tilts in confusion, that red shirt with white hollow circle seeming somewhat familiar.

The lit candles bolted to the walls brighten the hallway, the individual flames dancing as the figure races down the tunnel, quietly-but forcibly-opening another door. I watch for a few moments more before creeping out of the room, tiptoeing to Orochimaru's current location.

Getting a decent distance away, my legs move as fast as they possibly can, letting me burst into a deafening speed. My arms lifelessly drag behind, almost parallel to the floor from the vehement force of the air.

Alert signals flash in my mind.

Intruders. From the leaf. Their unauthorized entrance would be an act of war if this hideout was a legitimate village that could withstand a coexistence with the neighboring villages. But it's not so simple. Therefore Lord Orochimaru's orders may be to vanquish them.

However, I know better than to assume, since his demented way of thinking has fooled me in the past.

When I finally reach the briefing area, it is too late. An explosion erupts in the distance. I tsk, knowing exactly what-or rather, who-caused it. Gripping the door handle, I swing it open to find the room freshly empty, the residue of smoke still wafting in the atmosphere.

Something rests on my shoulder.

Whipping out my curved-blade kunai, I swiftly swing around, lifting my arm to deliver a fatal attack to the heart.

But then those snake eyes appear before me.

"Snooping around, Kabuto?"

My mouth hangs slightly ajar to my shock, but I quickly snap it shut, composing myself. "Intruders," is my only answer.

"Yes, I know. They're here for Sasuke. We'll have to catch up, eventually."

Eventually?

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Completely unphased by the fact one of our hideouts has been breached. And he doesn't care to lend Sasuke a hand-if he needs it anyway. Though, with the trespassers being leaf ninja, their will to return him to the leaf is almost palpable. And Naruto probably orchestrated the mission by pestering the Hokage.

Lord Orochimaru brings his hands up to my glasses, adjusting them. I stiffen intensely, breaking out into a cold sweat.

"They were crooked," He smiles.

Just the sound of his voice has me walking on cloud nine.

"Lord Orochimaru," I murmur, unable to continue my sentence or breathe regularly. For fear that he'll notice the change in my demeanor, I sternly face away from him with a slight pout.

He laughs at me.

"Come on, Sasuke could use our dramatic entry."

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That night, we travel to one of our more desolate hideouts located in and unmarked forest. The journey is silent-not too different from how it usually is. I prefer the eerie muteness. That way I can listen and indulge in the life of nature.

Unfortunately for me, it is dark, so there are no singing birds or scurrying hares. There is only the faint rustle of the grass underneath our feet, and the shaking leaves in trees and thicket.

There IS an occasional howl from the flamboyant wind though.

When we reach the entrance of the hideout, Sasuke is the first to enter. Lord Orochimaru, whom has been walking in front of me as slow as humanly possible, lifts his hand, signaling me to stop. Sasuke just keeps walking until out of sight, uncaring of what we plan.

Erm, what Lord Orochimaru plans, rather.

He faces me, the breeze carrying his long black hair. His smile is unwavering.

"I have a mission for you."


	2. Inconvenient Troubles

Chapter 2

My eyebrows twitch to the statement.

Now, of all moments, he wants to get me out of here? I couldn't imagine comparing us, since his strength greatly outshines my own, but I must contribute something, right? Wouldn't he prefer my help in case something arises? One of our hideouts is already destroyed, thanks to a certain someone. What if the same happens here? We only have so many hideouts.

"All I need you to do is find someone for me."

"Ohh?"

"The Kazekage, Gaara. Find him for me."

"The Kazekage, but why?" Don't you think we have enough on our plate?

"You've never asked questions before, Kabuto."

"I'm just curious, since I'll be going out on a limb here."

He chuckles so smoothly, "Just do as I ask. I'll have it arranged that someone accompanies you."

My expression is perplexed, "What? I've never needed help before."

"Don't worry, this isn't because I don't think you can handle it."

Actually, that never crossed my mind.

"Just do as you're told and everything will be fine."

I sigh to myself, ultimately accepting his demands, just as I always do.

He smiles a lot now.

I sit outside by the brush while Lord Orochimaru enters the hideout, the dreary darkness of the night making me shiver. I look in all directions in a paranoid fashion, fearing the imaginary beasts lurking in all the black patches in my surroundings. The clouds drift over the white disk in the sky, making it even darker.

It doesn't take long for my partner to walk outside, just long enough for me to drive myself mad.

I stand to the sound of their footsteps coming closer, then Sasuke stares at me from the entryway.

A part of me shatters at the sight of him. He must be out for another training session with Lord Orochimaru, the bastard. He has no idea how lucky he is, being Lord Orochimaru's favorite when I used to wear that title.

It wouldn't bother me so much if that smug expression of his was slapped off his face.

Coolly, he approaches me, hand resting on the katana entangled in the purple rope around his thin waist.

"Let's go."

"What? Where?"

"To the land of wind. Don't tell me Orochimaru didn't clue you in."

"So _you're_ my companion for this mission?"

He just stares back as if the answer was obvious.

I cringe, infuriated with Lord Orochimaru for being so spiteful, and at Sasuke for stupidly accepting the mission when every other time he refutes.

Not wanting to show my dismay, I simply give a passing scowl while moving forward. Sasuke tails behind me, not reacting to my malicious glare. It's not that it matters if I intimidate him, but it would be quite the benefit. No matter, my only goal at this point is to get the mission done as fast as humanly possible.

The sun rises and hovers in the midst of the suffocating sky, glaring menacingly at the ground with searing hatred. It was so chilly when it was dark, then we reach the border of the land of wind and it suddenly becomes scorching hot.

What's odd are the dark gray clouds suddenly smothering the hovering blue, and eventually the hissing sun.

Our shoes kick light swirls of sand, and in the next moment it begins to rain.

On the line between forest and desert, we stop our venture.

I slouch my shoulders at the inconvenience, but thank the heavens for allowing a breach in the heatwave.

"We should find cover," Sasuke remarks, straight-faced as ever.

I just glare, "Why? It wouldn't be the first time we've run through rain. And it would be a great cover, dark with water making noise everywhere. They wouldn't be able to locate us."

"Just follow me. You wouldn't be able to understand, even if I explained it to you."

He turns, merging back into the dense forest. Before I have time to object, he is almost out of sight, and though I could complete the mission alone, it's Lord Orochimaru's will that Sasuke be with me, and so I follow.

The cold shots violently poking the upper part of my body fail to diminish my steaming irritation. As our surroundings soak into a puddling flood, Sasuke crouches underneath a boulder, the thought of it tilting over to the powerful winds and crushing every morsel of his being into a splatter of guts and goo and disintegrating bone to dust is more distracting than the part in his shirt located at his naval.

I shake my head of the putrid thought, disgusted with myself.

Inevitably joining his shelter after numerous moments of standing in the pouring rain, I huff while crossing my arms over my curled legs, hating the thought of sitting still when Lord Orochimaru expects no lack in effort. Sasuke's lethargic nature will soon be the end of me, decaying my good reputation of being a reliable servant. Lord Orochimaru will see this and believe I have no respect for him, thinking his orders are that of mere suggestions in which I can just cast to the wasteside if the feeling arises.

I am in no position to disobey him, with failing to retain the Uchiha's legacy he oh-so desires and such. I am just a meager slave that will soon dull in significance, blurring in worth. Lord Orochimaru is nothing if not reasonable, so he will make it quick.

"It's nice."

Sasuke's voice snaps me out of my trance. I look at him for a split second, processing what he said, then face the rain, splatters of mud slapping onto my shoes with every rivulet randomly trickling down from the boulders edge.

"I guess."

Sasuke faces me, almost making a frown. "I meant...hmph, never mind."

He turns away.

What was that? Did I somehow upset him by simply sitting here? Or was it my bland response to his tasteless conversation-starter?

Wait a minute, I don't care.

It feels like hours have passed, yet still it pours, not letting up in the slightest to provide Sasuke the security he needs to keep himself from slipping and mucking up the white in his shirt, I assume is reason for our unnecessary pending. I tap my shoe, the motion being useless in attempting to display impatience as the storm drowns out the feeble sound, crushing its sound waves as thin as a toothpick.

"Let's go, Sasuke," I finally say with slightly noticeable irritation.

"Hmm?"

"We're wasting time just sitting here. We've already wasted almost three days just getting to this point, we can't afford any further delay."

"Hmph, then go. I'm staying here."

 _Stubborn bastard._ "Come on Sasuke, what're you so afraid of?"

"You think I'm afraid?"

"Well, yeah. What else would you be?"

"And I thought Naruto was an idiot." He curls himself forward, launching up onto his feet. I sit and watch, almost in a state of shock that Sasuke actually got up. Now I know all I have to do is pester him and he'll do what I ask.

"Are you coming?"

I flinch slightly, realizing he's walking away. Shortly after making his remark and me failing to react, he stops walking, looking back at me with annoyance.

The force of the storm whips his hair around, drowning him in the clouds' sorrow, soaking every inch of his clothes, the wet forcing them to conform to his frame rather tightly, showing a pale beige tint on plastered areas.

Hesitating, for who knows why, I manage to rise up and step out into the freezing rain. The bullets of liquid stab across my form, making my urgency to complete the mission dissipate.

The wind flips my glasses into the mud.

With a tsk, I bend over and gently nudge into the soft terrain, motioning that Sasuke may go ahead. My fingertips brush along the scattered traces of grass, feeling every curve, rough edge, and peak, but my eyes see only blurred brown. Every now and then there's a splotch of green, but not much more. Even perceiving the rain becomes a taxing activity.

Something presses on my shoulder. I look in that direction, a blurry mesh of white, black and purple, with just a smidge of tan.

"Here," a calm, milky voice mutters.

A stiff object knocks into my knuckles, then moves around the obstacle that is my fist while I curl my fingers, the tips pressing on cool glass, recognizing the familiar shape. Slipping the metal tongs over my ears, Sasuke's bored expression comes into focus.

What dread there is in the air, for I was a damsel, and this runt is my hero. No matter, the mission shall persist!

I take a step but Sasuke moves over, intervening in my path. He stares at me, moving his lips like he's debating on saying something. I'll take anything as long as it gets him out if my way.

Despite the roaring thunder, it feels like the storm has stopped, the chaos has ended. Trees no longer struggle to stand strong, leaves aren't torn from their stems and mindless bodies aren't aimlessly roaming about because of the delinquency of their comrade, instead they just stand in place with the hushed weather, staring at each other as if there was a reward at stake.

"What is it, Sasuke?"

The storm is right to shield the insolence from my tone. He sucks in, keeping a straight face.

"Kabuto," his hands twitch before curling into themselves. There's determination in his eyes, but determination for what? Ohh dear, I wonder if he's gotten the idea to dispose of me so he can have Lord Orochimaru all to himself. If so, it's a fight to the death.

Sasuke huffs, forcing his lips onto mine. Eyes bulging, I witness, shocked, unable to do anything other than merely watch. He squeezes his eyes closed, hoping to wrap his arms around my shoulders to hold me in place. I shake him off, catching my breath after several heaves, keeping him at a distance with my hand to his chest.

"What," He asks innocently.

His forced arrogance forces a glare. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I was just-"

"In the middle of a mission?!"

"Wait, _that's_ what you're upset about?"

"Engage in your personal endeavors when it's not so important that we focus. Geez."

I walk past him, heading for the sand village. He follows close behind, staying silent after this unsettling turn of events. Damn Uchiha's think they deserve anything and everything, all because they just want it. Ugh, whatever. Hopefully this stays in the past, I have better things to have on my mind than Sasuke.


	3. Mission Underway (Finally)

Chapter 3

As we get closer to the village, I notice the buildings, how they neglect to melt at the weather's will. After all, since everything's made out of sand, it would only be logical that the rules of nature apply. But it looks like I was wrong.

My clothes weigh heavily, gaining heft with every attempt forward. Or I am growing weaker. Still, it does not succeed in refraining my hike up the encasing wall around the village. Virtually silent, Sasuke reaches my side, acting as cool as ever.

The storm turns into a mild rain, making our presence easier to detect. And to think, had we not stopped, this wouldn't be an issue right now.

We scale up the wall, mud plopping to the ground with every step. Our strides are slippery and miscalculated, making this seemingly feasible goal an unattainable dream. Though the wall remains intact, the structure is weakened with the abnormal weather. From what I hear, it rarely rains in the Land of Wind.

Finally reaching the lip at the top, Sasuke and I hook our fingers over the curve and leap up, plunging strong kicks in the guards above and sending them over the edge. Watching them fall to their deaths with splattering brains and innards pouring out for an audience's view, others close by are alert, hearing the slap of the bodies when they hit the unforgiving bottom several stories below. To our advantage, a mist shrouds around, thickly, painting the near distance in white-which wouldn't be too much of a problem if I already knew the location of the Kazekage.

The light rain dwindles to a feint sprinkle.

Then it occurs to me, so suddenly this mist appeared. Of course, any delinquent would believe the rain posed a bigger effect on this part of the land than expected, so it's nothing out of the ordinary, but it's weight is what reveals it's fallacy. It's heavy, stirring with chakura.

Sasuke-who stands close enough to my right for us to perfectly see one another-looks at me with the same thoughts, activating his Sharingan. I almost want to slap him, showing off his bloodline, his provided talents, nothing he earned. But even I can admit that I need him, at least for the time being. With my limited sight capabilities, I suppose he could be labeled an asset rather than a liability. And with Zabuza being recently declared dead, there's only one with the Hidden Mist technique-that I'm well aware of anyway-and my chances of defeating this enemy solo are below zero.

Something cold grabs my hand, biting chills in my flesh. I react to attack, but it's just Sasuke. He blinks, watching until my fighting stance softens.

"So you don't get lost," He says condescendingly.

Before I can object to the spine-tingling sensation of his wet hand clasping in mine, he bolts down to the exploded corpses. My opportunity has gone unattended. Now being surrounded by opposition, speaking would attract more irritation than necessary to bring my blood pressure to an ultimate high.

Sasuke and I duck behind a residence tucked in the corner, its back wall cemented to the surrounding barrier. Sasuke takes a quick peek.

"There aren't too many right now, but they've been warned of a strange sound. They're investigating."

"It won't take them too long to find the source then, the corpses have traces of chakura left, for now."

"Shut up."

A guard slowly makes his way over. We react accordingly, transforming into the two soldiers that lay at our side.

"Who's back there?"

We step out, almost stumbling. I brush the hair from my eyes while Sasuke works up a good convincing blush. Why, I don't know.

The guard gives us a peculiar look, "Akuma, Yuuma, what were you two . . . _doing_ back there?"

Sasuke's blush brightens as he bites his lip, averting his gaze from the stranger, "It's true."

I connect the dots, not liking the picture portrayed. "Ohh no, it's not what you think!"

"I don't want to know, just get back to your posts. The Kazekage has an important guest arriving soon and we need all the security to show our strength and prove our worth."

I stutter, but nod in unison with Sasuke, "Right."

The guard walks off. And even though he's gone, a hint of Sasuke's pretended blush remains.

"He's in the Kazekage's mansion."

We run straight for it, me following Sasuke's lead. At least now hand holding isn't included. However my eyes seem to grow curious of the object located at a sloping angle-aka, Sasuke's butt. How it slightly turns with every stride, nearly in a sauntering motion. And the intensity, contract and release, contract and release. I shake my head. With looking at Sasuke like that, I'm betraying my passions. Also, it would mean I'm admiring that dead guy's butt. So I guess it's not as bad as gawking at Sasuke's.

Finally, we reach the building. Meeting the two shinobi standing guard at the entrance, Sasuke rushes an explanation, "We have urgent news for Lord Kazekage!"

"Ugh! Yeah, sure, go ahead."

We race past, up the stairs, down the hall, up more stairs, until finally we reach that one special door. I knock sternly, as if returning from a mission in which involved stealth and deceit to accomplish the order Lord Orochimaru bestowed upon me, and I seethe with excitement and anxiety, eager for his approval and receiving enough to constitute as a well-deserved tease.

"Come in," a deep voice calmly allures.

We do, closing the door behind us, refraining from engaging in the tradition of respect and bowing before our senior. The black rimmed pale blue eyes look up from a sprawled scroll dangling to the stone tile. He just stares, not saying a word, presumably waiting for our report, our submission to his authority, or perhaps he is scrutinizing us with effortless significance.

Despite my faithfulness to my Lord, if this man were to whimsically take me and my body, I would not object.

"Summon him," Sasuke says.

Both the delightful ruler of the sand and I turn our gaze to him in curiosity, though more so in confusion for me.

Sasuke looks at me.

"Who are you?"

My attention returns to Gaara, the Kazekage, gulping down my frayed nerves. _That fast?_

"Do it."

"Why don't you? Why waste _my_ chakura?"

"Because those are the orders."

With a grit of my teeth, I bite back the fact that Lord Orochimaru treats me less than this worm, and summon him, the smoke flushing out the clarity of the room as I press my bloodied hand to the floor, having enough force to retract our transformations.

Then there he stands, tall and lean, long jet black hair and snow skin, my Lord, my life, Lord Orochimaru.


	4. Idleness in Critical Times

Chapter 4

As if completely adapted to the situation, Lord Orochimaru licks his lips while Gaara rises from his seat, lifts his arm parallel to the ground, and with a mild snicker, blasts a spiral of serpents from his sleeve. The obedient creatures sink their venomous fangs into Gaara's flesh, long enough to sink beneath his blanketing sand armor.

Gaara is shocked, but fails to show it.

Next Lord Orochimaru spits out his Kusanagi blade and retrieves it with his free hand, standing at the ready.

All in a split second Lord Orochimaru prepares for a fight, and all I manage to conceive is the gust of wind brushing away my bangs when the serpents fly from his body. That and the fluent motions of Lord Orochimaru's limbs and torso, so elegant and majestic with every sweeping gesture, as a slow and intoxicatingly captivating dance of serene goodness that can radiate from a person, and I waste not a drop of the sweet and syrupy performance.

Gaara just remains where he is, seemingly unphased by the assassination attempt. He blinks, and his coolness is way more drinkable than Sasuke's, so it's an enjoyable sight.

Lord Orochimaru shifts his sword upward, the tip of the blade poking the curve of Gaara's chin, piercing the armor, stretching a crack through one half of Gaara's once-flawless face. Sand slowly reaches around the windows until it has completely blocked out the light, and everything caves in. Sand compacted as hard as cement crashes into the room, destroying the furniture, flooding us in. the ground shatters and lifts upward vehemently, wishing to squish the last bit of air, dilapidating the mansion as if it were in a fist. Then an ear-bursting sound stabs through the coarse demolition and sprouts a tunnel of light. I am dragged out of this tunnel, sand flying from my clothes and hair.

"Sasuke," I spit out.

I should've known. What is it with me and letting Sasuke save the day? Uck, even his name brings my blood to a boil.

We glide through the air, his arm around my waist, until finally dropping on a resident's house. I push him away and look back at the Kazekage's mansion, or what was the Kazekage's mansion. It's just an encrusted ball of crushed dirt now. Though, even from here, the mass of chakura in the air. . . it's like heavy static. The battle has only begun and I'm not there to help Lord Orochimaru, in any big or small way that I can.

I get to a firm stance and ready myself to lunge back over, but Sasuke grabs my shoulder and twists me around, "what're you doing?"

"I can't just. . . Lord Orochimaru needs us."

"He can do this himself, Kabuto."

He rests his hand on the katana, talking nonchalantly and standing with leisure, all while our Lord is out risking his life, that of which Gaara can very easily swipe away.

"You're insane. But I don't have time to be wasting on insulting you right now, so if you'll excuse me."

"Stay out of it. Do you really believe _you_ can aid one of the Sanin? You'd just be in the way, like always."

Cheeky bastard, he's lucky he's an Uchiha _and_ Lord Orochimaru's favorite or I'd be all up and down his ass.

"Then you go, hmm. You can surely offer much more than I. Right, Sasuke?"

His eyes are wider than usual, but not enough to demonstrate any real surprise, "Well yeah. But it's what he told me. His words, not mine."

As those last words left his lips, it's as if my world had stopped turning. Everything I strived for, everything I Sacrificed, all those years of dedication, loyalty, only to please Lord Orochimaru at least in the slightest of ways, all to be the way. Always.

I face the dirt ball again and watch for a moment, almost feeling Lord Orochimaru looking at me with annoyance and spite that I never noticed before. Sitting with my knees to my chest, I sulk. It's pathetic and childish, but there's nothing really wrong with sulking. It doesn't hurt anybody, and it allows me to reflect on the agonizing subject that put me in this state of like-depression so all of my endearing qualities can further display themselves. The pain in my chest, in my head, behind my eyes, the burning lying underneath the lids that promote a rivulet of sorrow. I feel so stupid, believing Lord Orchard saw me anything more than a tool. It was just me, anyway, my imagination fabricating the fantasy that I so dearly yearned to become reality. To know I've displeased him, all this time, it's demoralizing. My only purpose is Lord Orochimaru.

But surely I must be good for something. After all, my Lord does me the justice of missions and conversation. Just his voice, that self-assured and demonic smile, those stunning golden eyes. . . the eyes that are filled with aggravation. . .

No. I can't think like that, it shows, even if my face fails to. Lord Orochimaru is just that keen. And now, with the clashes and grinding of metal and heavy masses, he is showing his ultimate perfection in battle, and I can't even watch. What a downer.

Sasuke sits next to me, resting his katana to the side and leaning back on his palms. "You're so sensitive."

"What're you talking about?"

"You, getting all worked up because Orochimaru thinks you're a nuisance."

A nuisance? What did I do to Lord Orochimaru to disgruntle his magnificence? "You wouldn't understand."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you don't care about anything besides yourself. So it wouldn't bother you if anyone thought of you. . . as he does me. Of course, in your situation that would never happen." With you being the favorite. And I hate you, I hate you for stealing away Lord Orochimaru's eye, even if it was never really on me, it felt like it was, and it felt exhilarating.

"That's what I mean by too sensitive. One word is said and your whole world comes crashing down. You care too much."

"I'd never constitute that as a negative thing. Now go away, your taking up my sulking space."

"I _could_ take up more."

"Why're you acting so weird?"

"Hmm?"

"These past few days, the days it's been just us, you've been. . ."

 _Salacious._

Of course, I'm not going to say that out loud since, well he probably won't know what it means, but also because I could be perceiving his behavior incoherent to his actual intentions. For all I know he could be trying to make friends, in his own deranged and highly insinuating way. Fat chance, but a chance nonetheless.

"I've been what?"

"Nothing."

"Well, that can change." He scoots closer to me, holding his lips to my ear, "And _we_ can be _something_." He kisses my temple, and that's when I shake him off, standing a few feet away.

It's like talking to a wall.

I cross my arms and watch the dirt ball, nibbling on my thumb nail with angst. The quarrel should be coming to an end about now. I have no worries of Lord Orochimaru's state, surely no worse than with the Third Hokage. However the success of the mission is at stake, and with Lord Orochimaru's urgency on the matter, it must be important to eliminate the current Kazekage.


	5. Hunger in Confounded Places

Chapter 5

Lord Orochimaru meets us in the outskirts of the land of wind. We'd been waiting for quite some time. Lord Orochimaru sways slightly, hair frizzled and drenched in sweat, tattered clothes, chipped sword. I swallow back the urge to rush to his aid, something I would never consider doing an hour ago. He drops his sword, almost falling to his knees, but Sasuke lends a hand. Lord Orochimaru smiles at him.

I stiffen, only able to bear it for so long before I must briefly avert my gaze. When my eyes return, Lord Orochimaru's glare stabs through my body like a missile.

He picks up his sword, pats Sasuke's hand to tell him his walking capabilities haven't ceased, and continues into the forest in which we left not long ago.

"What happened?" Sasuke asks, tagging closely behind him.

I stand in place for several moments, unsure of what to do. Lord Orochimaru has never looked at me in such a way. Maybe it's for how childish I'm acting. But damn it, if Lord Orochimaru wishes for Sasuke's advances, who am I to stand in their way? . . . Or maybe I'm just making excuses for myself now. Ugh, what is wrong with me? In a course of a few days my behavior has changed monumentally, thanks to a certain someone, but that's no excuse. I just want this day to end so things can return to the way they used to be.

"It seems we were later than what I hoped for," Lord Orochimaru answers. "There were Akatsuki to apprehend Garra of the Sand, and with them (and) the Kazekage to deal with, I held no significance against them. It was over soon, but I can be stubborn sometimes, so it didn't end as early as it could have."

"Are you sure you want to do that," I very stupidly question, still in the same spot-so I kind of have to raise my voice to be heard. With every word that I say, I mentally curse myself and wish to zip my lips. Lord Orochimaru doesn't turn around. "With your arms freshly healed, you should try to rest as much as you can. If you push it, the fragile connection with your arms could feasibly sever and you'd have to relive that hell."

"Perhaps with the lack of one's incompetence, I wouldn't have had to push myself so hard."

He continues walking.

Sasuke glances back at me. I don't know why. Maybe he's enjoying all of this, Lord Orochimaru's displayed dismay and my obvious unnerve.

I bump my glasses up the bridge of my nose, watching them leave side by side.

When we finally return to the hideout, the overwhelming tension clenching my chest releases. Now I can escape to my room and never emerge. I can just sit in there and rot like a good worthless tool.

Sasuke leisurely strides inside before us. With my newly-acquired angst, I scowl as he passes ever-so slowly. I glare at the spikes pointing out of the back of his head, wishing to either smash them back into his head or just rip them out. It takes him so long to pass the doorway, so that I may finally make make a break for it, but no, he needs to move a foot per minute. He finally gets the hell out of my way and off I go! Past Sasuke, to my room, relaxation and slumber patiently wait for me.

Then...

"Kabuto, would you come by the throne room? I'd like a word with you."

(Dammit! So close.)

After an elongated slouch and sigh, I straighten myself and whip around, ready to follow Lord Orochimaru's lead. He stands authoritatively, smileless. Sasuke snickers when passing me, luckily leaving for his room. Lord Orochimaru gives me another moment of awkwardness and nerve-wracking stares before actually walking.

Traveling through the candlelit maze, I make sure to keep a ten foot radius from him, in case he tries anything funny with that sword of his. It's a wonder why he hasn't swallowed it yet.

Nothing out of the ordinary thus far-except for the notable weight of hostility smothering the air. Like that awful suffocating feeling with dense humidity.

Lord Orochimaru's hair has flattened out since we got back. It has returned to its silky-smooth nature, subtly sweeping an arch when he makes a turn. The miniscule flames from the candles make it glow crimson. A flowing, reflective coal river of soft threads.

I stretch out my hand, missing the touch of that smooth blanket of hair. I only ever ran my fingers through it when Lord Orochimaru slept. His arms were withering like a dying rose, splitting and leaking red. He slept a lot to escape a portion of the agony, and I was able to watch. His unconsciousness is not exactly that quaint fallacy from fairytales, what with all the snoring and all, but it was more than worth spending time on. And the best times, Lord Orochimaru would occasionally squirm from either pain or mental trepidation, a gentle caress down his hollow cheeks put him right to rest, they were uplifting moments.

I retreat my hand, clutching the heart of my shirt. I don't deserve to touch him, not anymore. As if I ever did in the first place.

We arrive at the room. I jump in front of Lord Orochimaru and hold the door open for him out of habit, only catching myself when it's too late. He looks indifferent, then proceeds.

Normally, he would smirk and walk past me, close enough that I could smell the blood on his clothes and his hair would wisp me in the face, but not this time. Every moment passed is like an anchor drowning me, filling my skull with water until it finally explodes, leaking from every inch of myself till I am just part of the sea, no longer red, but blue.

"Close the door."

I do. Meanwhile, Lord Orochimaru relaxes on his throne, and I assume the position at his feet.

"You disappoint me, Kabuto. I didn't think my orders were so complicated to make you think you could do whatever you want."

"Lord-"

"Don't speak. I once had high expectations of you, but now I'm not so sure. You're stifling your own potential."

I pend for a long pause before cutting in, so Lord Orochimaru can be spared of further insult. Then I bravely open my mouth, "My Lord, I only did what was asked of me."

"Not even that. Sitting to wait for the rain to pass? The perfect cover and you just waste the precious little time we had left. And now, because of your carelessness, the Akatsuki have gotten their hands on the first tail." The anger in his tone, it's almost unbareable to endure. How I've let him down.

"You mindlessly lounge around, waiting for something to do even when urgency flails before your eyes. A few years ago you would go out of your way to get tedious matters done."

"A few years ago you didn't have Sasuke!"

A silence befalls the room.

My heart jumps into my throat. Why did I say that? I was thinking it, and thinking is bad enough, but Lord Orochimaru isn't psychic, so it was safe, locked away with my petty Rollercoaster of emotions. And now I've let him in. A terrible mistake. Now he knows what I've been thinking this whole time. One sentence strips me of my armor, and now Lord Orochimaru can use his sword any which way. Then again, maybe Lord Orochimaru won't care, brush it off like dust on his attire. Or worse, he'll think less of me. Now that I've shown him this belittling side of me, he may scoff, shake his head, and leave me to do cleaning mantainance as I'm no longer capable of fulfilling a pawn's purpose. Or he'll relieve me of my duty, useless now as to be broken, and thrown away. That would be a courtesy.

A hand rests on my shoulder.

I flinch, shooting my gaze up at my kneeling lord, his golden eyes only inches from my own.

"Jealous?"

My shaking stare forces a tear, a tear in which I'm unknowing of. My hands roll into fists and quake with the rest of my defenseless self. Heat wraps around my face.

That beautiful man staring back at me . . .

He smirks and plants his lips on mine.

My heart pumps in my ears as he continues to graze. I just sit there, stiff as a board, sweating a river, not knowing what to do or how to react. Instead of focusing on it, I look past the shining black threads to the stone throne, carved into, depicting scaley creatures strangling the chair, until they come up to each side, rising to the arms, lined with gold, slithering to the corner of the arms and snapping open their jaws to reveal curved fangs and whip-like tongues.

Lord Orochimaru pulls back, noticing my distraction. His expression is a mixture of disappointment and curiosity, topped with . . . something else.

I finally release the breath I'd been holding in, gasping and coughing like a fool. All in front of my dear Lord Orochimaru . . . whom kissed me. ME. Of all people . . . maybe he already had his way with Sasuke and got bored, however unlikely that is. The bordem being the unlikely factor in this equation. That must be it, he would never submit to this action without Sasuke's approval, right? I mean, Sasuke has Lord Orochimaru on a leash. So, since he and Sasuke are so close, whether it be natural or under duress-which I doubt-it would mean that this kiss isn't sincere. In the way that I'm imagining it to be, anyway. It COULD be sincere in his attempts to elude me. In which case he succeeded, until now, since I've realized his intentions.

Lord Orochimaru lifts my glasses and places them to the side. His soft touch made me jump, but I only scrounge around for those metal-framed glass plates instead of even inquiring him. My mouth is only meant for breathing at this point.

Strong arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me close to a built body. My mouth hides behind the shoulder. I blink to clear the blur, but it doesn't work, naturally.

"You can't be so easily distracted if you can't see the distractions," He whispers with creamy succulence.

"Lord Orochimaru," I meekly squeeze out in a muffled voice.

I lift my arms and feel around his waist to his back, following the indentations and hills of muscles, or lack thereof. His body is firm, hidden behind these baggy rags. My fingertips brush against the ends of his hair and I gasp in child-like delight. Without permission, my fingers reach further upward, combing through the silk.

A pleasurable pain erupts from my neck, forcing me to wince. Lord Orochimaru then licks were he bit, soon stretching his tongue so it slithers down my shirt, tracing the line of my back. A chill runs down my spine as I mutter things I would never say. His tongue reaches around my side to my lower abdomen. It slinks down the curve of my hip bone. A moan escapes me, then I bring my arms between us and push Lord Orochimaru back. With how strong he is, my protest doesn't merit much.

"Lord Orochimaru, I-ahh!"

My eyes begin to water as his tongue slides down my hardened member. His hands rest upon my thighs. I sink my head, shaking uncontrollably. Back and forth that slippery tongue repeats, then curves around it, lopping it up with his saliva. I clutch his shirt with a whine and he completely retracts his tongue, leaning back with what I can only assume is a giant grin.

Smoke explodes behind us, near the door, and a tan blob remains after the gray has cleared. At least in this position it only appears that Lord Orochimaru was comforting me in my sorrow rather than my fantasies transforming into more than frisky cognizance.

"My Lord, Orochimaru," the blob says calmly, "there's been a disturbance that requires your attention."

"Very well," Lord Orochimaru hands me my glasses and rises to a stance.

With my vision wiping away the smeared depiction of reality, Lord Orochimaru leaves without another word, the loyal servant close to follow.

The door closes.

An emptiness lingers after the echo fades, yet I don't feel alone, I feel unreal. I must be trapped in some miraculous genjutsu, so mind-bending that I can't sense the chakura being used. I clutch the heart of my shirt and hold myself with a shaky breath. The coolness of my lord's saliva seeps into the fabric of my attire, a wave of shivers erupting from the center of my chest and rippling to the ends of my fingertips. I can still feel the slick, adventurous slime snake wrapping around my body, sneaking under my clothes as to remain ambiguous, and...

My hand quivers tentatively to the sensitive sex still throbbing with frustration.

"Lord Orochimaru..."


	6. Awkward Encounters

Chapter 6

Back in my meekly lit room, I sit on the mattress comfortably, however uneasy in feeling. After all, despite the favoritism geared towards Sasuke, I am still the most highly regarded pawn of his majesty. Wherefore, I shouldn't just sit idly when there are things to be done. That's what upset him in the first place.

Well, that and Sasuke keeping us behind schedule, which was apparently MY fault.

Rocking to my feet, I slip on my shoes and grab the scroll left next to the door, daily dropped off to keep me updated on the status of, well, basically everything. And it has been repeatedly ignored for the past couple of weeks, until now. [Dramatic victory music] Scanning through the numbers, a weak knock taps my door. Standing right before it, my answer is quick, much faster than what my visitor was expecting since I caught them shuffling down the hall very tense-like.

"Hello?"

My voice shrieks them to a halt. For moments on end we stand in this predicament, my visitor nothing more than a shadow caught between the neat ovals made of candle light, and me, frozen with a scroll in my hand, staring at the black smear that I can only guess is where the back of their head would be.

"Did you need something," I inquire, notably frustrated, eager to intervene in my visitor's obvious fetish for awkward standoffs.

"Kabuto," a voice calls at my back. I turn around to find Sakkon. His expression stresses urgency. It's amazing that he and his brother, Ukon, have survived this lifestyle for so long. Of course, their success, along with their squad, in the mission to acquire Sasuke has set them up here in the hideout.

Glancing over my shoulder, my visitor has disappeared. Curious, yet irrelevant.

I follow Sakkon to the far East of the hideout where the tunnel walls have been breached. With us nestled deeply into the side of a mountain, this sort of ordeal occurs rather frequently. I thank him for notifying me, get repairs in order immediately, and go on to the next trivial deed in need of satisfying.

It turns out there's a lot of things to be done when choosing to let the chores pile in a heap for days on end.

What a wreck I let thrive, shameful.

Hours fritter away, tainted with strain and distress, connecting the walls of one's windpipe with the brute force of incompetence and general idiocy of countless degenerates believing they know more than senior shinobi. It's pitiful, but not to the point in dousing rage in evanescence.

Finally the chores run short, leaving none left to further exhaust myself into unconsciousness.

Lord Orochimaru will surely be pleased with me.

Returning to my room, I store today's scroll in a pit of fire, releasing myself and every member of the sound from self-gratifying, overweening imbeciles who believe in heavy scrutinization. My chores aren't so dire as to threaten any of our secrets, but do retain possibility in foiling future tactics.

As it lays lifeless, a pile of nose-tickling dust, I recline on my mattress, stretching with a happy sigh.

I assume by this time it's dusk. No need to do that daily unwinding, brisk walk. That's usually set for mornings anyway. Actually, I've sort of neglected that too for a couple of weeks. Good God what have I been doing all day? Was I really just doing nothing but sitting here for hours on end? No wonder Lord Orochimaru was fed up with me.

For some odd reason, the unknown visitor from much earlier comes to mind, just out of the blue. There's no one on record, that lives in the sound, who is bashful-at least they're not outright about it. To just shuffle away is to run from confrontation, or whatever the hell they were looking for. Ordinarily, people come to me to whine about their problems or issues going around. Then I'm stuck with the humdrum task of clearing them away.

Maybe it was a prank, the thrill-seeker's game of ding-dong-ditch.

Still, it bothers me, the gall of such a stranger to come knocking on _my_ door when the night is meant for sleep. …And also disposing of evidence.

No matter, this stranger is likely to turn up again, and when they do, their identity shall not be hidden from me a moment longer. I don't honestly care who it is, I just can't stand not knowing.

What's more depressing is that I was so flooded with work that I had no opportunity to visit Lord Orochimaru today. Perhaps tomorrow, if fate permits, and if not, I guess I'll just have to power through the day. I wonder what he's up to, the emergency that he had to attend. If he's so needed, it must be of great importance.

I can't worry about that now, since I'm so filthy, covered in dust and sweat, the dirt caking up my face, a shower is my main priority at the moment. The dust from moving the rubble at the cave-in evenly blankets over my lens, making everything tinted with a light brown hue. My first instinct would be to wipe that off, but with how tired I am, I'd replace a shower with sleep if not constantly reminded of just how grimy I am.

Grabbing for a towel, I leave for the showers. With my status, I don't have to share with the rest of the ignorant punks I'm forced to integrate living quarters with. Instead I've had access to an exclusive one, if you will, much smaller in comparison, and cleaner. The slaves clean it every morning at 3, before any of us are required to wake-besides those whom guard the slaves, of course. It used to be just mine, but ever since Sasuke was successfully retrieved from the Leaf Village, it's gotten rather crowded. Luckily there's an hour window between the different schedules of "shower-time," so that's where I come in to sneak a lonely visit.

Lord Orochimaru has his personal shower, so I'm deprived of the luxury of his naked presence. However, at the same time, I wouldn't want him to be able to see me, which leads to only creepy antics on my part. A shiver runs down my spine as a stalking-like thought crosses my mind.

Entering quietly, I silently stride over to the far side of the showers, facing away from the entry door. There's a walkway slicing between the two halves of the showers, with two aisles to walk down. Heading for the right side in the darkest corner, I begin taking off my clothes, sifting them through one of the two rectangular holes in the wall so they slide down a floor, where the slaves can hand wash them. Some might think that abducting non-chakura wielding villagers for free labor is harsh, or maybe even somewhat cruel-and I used to have an issue with it-but it's a rewarding service. They do what we want, and we keep them alive. It's a mutual relationship, and one that works- _I_ think.

After removing every bit of clothing, I take my hair down and turn on the water. It screeches with an ear-piercing whine, then the pump kicks on and water hisses through the shower head. The pressure is intense, like minute pebbles spewing about, just the way I like it. The only issue is the sound. I don't want to attract any unwanted attention. And with how nosey those bastards are they'd come waltzing in here with a camera, like last time.

The warm water sprays over my tense body, streaming around my neck and down my shoulders. I droop my head while placing a hand on the cold stone wall to keep my balance. The steaming rain gathers on my lens, forcing me to close my eyes.

At least it's washing the dust away.

I pull them off and shake the droplets in random directions, setting the spectacles far from where the water can reach. It's not like I could really see right now with them on anyway, even if there _was_ anything I was hoping to look at.

Lifting my head so the water dabbles against my face, I let out a sigh. The frosty air makes this feel a thousand times more intense. Goose flesh spreads and retreats with just slight movements of my shoulders and hips. Returning to and comfortable stance with my forehead against the stone wall, my mind suddenly jumpstarts my heart with the thrill of yesterday. That Orochimaru, feeling me like that, it's truly embarrassing. Yet I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. After he left, I couldn't bear to touch myself, the shame was too great. And when I returned to my room, slept and woke with the effect he now brings me, it's too much.

That man, what has he done to me?

Sure, it's not the first time I've gotten riled up to the thought of him, but it's almost chronic now. I had to think of Sasuke to keep myself under control today. What if it happens tomorrow, and someone sees?! Oh Lord, I can't risk my reputation like that. Who would take me seriously? A man in my position has no room for blunders like that. I need to keep Lord Orochimaru's servants under my thumb if they are to obey orders.

I need to spare myself of the embarrassment and the risk. …And also the drain of power.

I clench my left fist, then wiggle and stretch out the fingers to prepare myself. Stopping several times mid-path, I reach for my member-limp, as my nerves are getting to me. After a brief start, I snatch my hand away.

"I can't do it like this."

A metallic tick echoes, like the latch of a door. Racing to the end of the aisle, the entry door is closed. My entire being quivers as I make small steps forward, checking left and right for intruders.

I find no one.

Lucky for me, I know where the cleaning slaves keep their equipment. Moving over to the locked closet on the left side of the room, I grab the key resting above the frame of the door, unlock it, and dig around inside. It isn't easy, considering I scramble through and identify items with touch alone.

"Let's see, a mop, broom, water bucket, crow-a _crowbar_? Why would they need a _crowbar_?"

Mentally declaring it mine for this moment, I slide it through the door handles and pull down on the sliding locks at the top of the doors that I completely forgot about until now.

My bedroom door doesn't have a lock, none of them do, so it's not like I can get this kind of privacy anywhere else. These doors have locks to keep unwanted visitors-namely the underprivileged-from entering.

No longer able to take this frozen torture, I hurry back to my hot, welcoming oasis. The warmth in itself is enough to make me seep into blissful unconsciousness, so that I may repeatedly dream of things that will never happen. But I shake off the notion, remembering why I'm going through so much effort just to have the room to myself.

Taking a breath, and a moment to reassure myself, I close my eyes and think of a body unwilling to display it's likeness to me, that tease. Those firm hills of muscle bashfully hiding behind unflattering rags, if I could just tear those away, gaze upon the beauty that is a man's body, and devour him.

Running a tongue down his naval, I hope to see those gorgeous golden eyes, but they're hidden behind darkness. His soft flesh is no longer out of my reach. Every inch of him is bare to display. Hid fingers comb through my hair and yank. So close. Our naked bodies press together, hands running up and down. Tongues meet before his golden, daily-flaunted perfection comes into view. Finally bringing up a hand to brush away his hair, the pale features show _Sasuke_?!

I yank my hand away, "Uck! ...Why...Why is it always _Sasuke_?"

With the sudden neglect it takes ultimate willpower to not continue, but with that fantasy ruined, I'm not in the mood. I'm still hard, but it looks like some force doesn't want me to do this, so it's over.

I pant deeply, gravely disappointed in myself, not for not continuing though. I lean against the stone wall, body tense-more than when I first walked in here.

"Dammit," I grit my teeth.

A stick falls to the ground, a stick thick enough to belong to a mop. I flinch, but stay in place for a moment to compose myself if anyone is really in here. Deeming it has been the appropriate amount of wasted water, I turn off the shower and wrap myself in the towel, feeling around and putting on my glasses. Striding over to the closet, I see the faint figure of the mop lying on the ground. I think I hear a nudge at the door, but what's in front of me is more captivating. As I slowly move closer, I can nearly feel another presence. And as I focus more and more...is that, breathing?

The doors burst open, the metal locks clanking to gravity's will. I keep myself from yelping, but my motions are unyielding.

Kidomaru walks in with the stretch of his arms. He notices me, "Kabuto, hey, did you know the doors were locked?"

"No, I hadn't the slightest idea," I reply sarcastically.

Before he attempts to make conversation with me, I make for a hurried exit, uncaring of the trail of water I leave behind for anyone to slip on. Kidomaru takes his showers after midnight. I couldn't have taken over an hour, could I?

Slipping into my room without interruption, I stand with my back plastered to the door. Someone had to be in there, but why would they be in the closet? Unless they were hiding, but it was too dark, they wouldn't have been able to see me. Was I loud? I don't even remember. I don't think I was, but that's a biased perspective.

I need to stop this. I swear if my hair wasn't already silver it'd be turning gray.

Taking the towel from my waist, I wipe my face of water and nervous sweat. Exhaling, I toss it to the side, flopping into bed with a stretch. Since I've never needed a blanket, it seems pointless to go outside and grab one for this one night. I won't have my clothes until morning when the lower-class servants dish out the cleaned uniforms door to door, so I'll make do with my birthday suit.


	7. Daily Routine Revived

Several days have passed and it's just been work, work, and more work. It's gotten to the point where I don't rely on anyone to do what they're told correctly. Maybe when I was having my little episode everyone simultaneously turned into idiots. Nothing seems to go right, the furnace was overheating, someone forgot to stand a beam up in the repairs for the cave-in so more of the walls came down, the experimental chamber was nearly breached, and someone killed themselves in the night and stunk up a whole corridor for 3 days before we actually found the damn thing. And those were only the main issues. But, despite how atrociously mundane it is, I keep on top of everything.

After wrapping up the task of alternating work schedules for the slaves, and perfecting a couple of serums that will prove useful to me, I return to the crisis of the cave-in. If I let these imbeciles do it themselves they'd bury us all alive. While a few of my Lord's servants clear out the rubble, I explain to a number of others how the walls are supposed to be structured. I also threw in a new checklist I drew up last night so this sort of inconvenience doesn't occur twice.

In the midst of my explanation, someone from behind hollers my name. Turning around, it's another one of my Lord's servants. His face looks familiar, but I can't place him. Two others trail behind him, dragging an exhausted slave.

"Master Kabuto," he bows slightly, "this slave was caught trying to escape last night. We couldn't find any others and she refuses to speak."

I step in front of the slave, looking at the top of her head. She breathes deeply, possibly out of pain of recent torture tactics. Kneeling down to her level, she shakes miserably, only barely lifting her gaze to meet mine.

"What's the matter with you? She doesn't have anything to hide."

"Wha-? But-"

"This is Suki Mitsubishi, number 9084-1. She was isolated from the rest to perform _private_ services. She wouldn't have any accomplices, you dunce. You tortured her for nothing."

"Oh, well, what do we do with her?"

I return to a stance, rubbing my chin as I contemplate. "Hmm, take her to the holding cellar where the rest of the slaves wait to be let out for breakfast, announce her offense, and give her 50 lashes. Remember to say the offense _before_ the whipping so the others don't get confused again."

"Yes sir!"

"Alright, I have business down there anyway, so I'll meet you after my lecture to these guys."

The three servants nod and take her to the designated area. The rest of my explanation takes upwards of ten minutes with all of the questions they ask. It's just _repair_ , it's not exactly rocket science.

Making my way over to the far end of the hideout, I go downstairs to meet those three servants. They were smart enough to actually wait for me before initiating the punishment.

I can't say I wasn't shocked.

As the two holding her strap and hang her arms over her head, the third walks in front, projecting his voice so all can hear. He holds the wrapped whip in his fist.

"Number 9084-1, attempted escape."

Making his way behind her, he gives me a parting glance-hoping I'm watching, no doubt. Any and all servants present in the slum of the slave workspace are desperate to get out by pleasing the "higher-ups." All the slaves watch in their 3x3 feet cells. I hear that often times many will turn around, unable to watch further, but not one dares to right now. I wonder if my presence has anything to do with that.

He scrolls out the whip, pulls his arm back and unleashes hell upon Ms. Mitsubishi. Her scream is the only sound audible after the crackling snap against her back reverberates off the walls. With every added lash, I notice some of the other slaves wincing or holding back their tears. One in particular flinches with every snap. Focusing on her, I recognize her features. She's Suki's younger sister. They were captured together when they left home to pick roses, flowers that were later going to rest on their Mother's grave.

I personally don't enjoy the scene, whipping a person until their broken, spirit and all. I've never held a whip in my life, but I do understand it's a useful tool to keep individuals in line. So, if others are willing to do the deed needing to be done, I see no reason in wasting the benefit.

Halfway there, her back is all bloody, her shirt slashing to ribbons. There's so much of the red that a medical expert can acknowledge they shan't make it unless healed very soon. Besides myself, there are no medical ninja or people on this floor. We make sure to not take individuals who are actually needed and difficult to obtain, and no one following Lord Orochimaru is interested in medicine.

The torn flesh starts to twist and shred, giving it the look of soft wooden bristles oozing with a thin-based liquid. The lip of her pants are stained with the color.

Finally, 50 comes around and the whip slides back. The servant pants, proud that the rhythm was consistent. I push myself off the wall and walk to Ms. Mitsubishi's side. Tears weakly dribble down her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. Saliva drips from her bottom lip as her breathing softens. I look around to the rest of the room, all their faces on me. Taking out my curved kunai, I slash her throat open, blood spewing and pouring to the stone floor. The slaves gasp and cry, one actually grabbing the electrical bars of her cell in protest. Whipping my weapon to the side, droplets of blood land on the nearby slaves. They jump as it strikes them.

Ms. Mitsubishi makes tiny sounds before dying.

The servants are a little shaken as well. A couple of them awkwardly try to pry her down before I have to tell them to.

"This is a warning," I say sternly. No eyes turn away from me. "Any who believe it is perfectly acceptable to cut into _my_ schedule and have me come down here to give a demonstration on how serious this is, there is no sanctuary for you. Your lives are not as important to us as you think. You are all easily replaced, so don't think for a second that we won't kill you." I pause for effect, letting that soak in so that they may not forget. "Akira Noshiro," a cell door behind me loudly slides open, "number 10368-2, please step forward."

I spin around to face him.

He steps back and looks around, frightened. The servants give stern glares at him, prepared to use force if need be. He comes to the realization that he doesn't get a choice with what's in store and swallows down enough of his fear to be face to face with me.

"Mr. Noshiro, I know what you've been up to, but I'm feeling generous. I'll give you one chance to confess, and I promise to be lenient."

The slave sighs in defeat, "You have nothing if not integrity, Master Kabuto, and so I trust your word. I've been smuggling foods in, but not for selfish reasons. We get fed only twice every other day, and once for the days in between, I just-"

"I don't care about your reasons, _Slave_. You get what we give you."

"Yes sir," he sulks.

"Now, since you've been obedient thus far, with a respectable tone, I feel like giving you a reward. ...Freedom."

The slave's eyes glisten with hope.

"-If! You exploit your connections."

He hesitates like he doesn't know what I said. "I... I can't."

"Aww," I force a sad face, then inject the truth serum I made up this morning into his jugular-for a speedy effect. This would also conclude if I did it right this time. My other experiments ended up dying with the explosion of their head.

He gasps after I remove the syringe and bring my arm to my side again. In the next second, he points at the servant who whipped Ms. Mitsubishi, and one of the younger boy slaves across the room.

"Ahh," I say, "are you sure?"

"Yes, we've done business almost every day for the past year. I get the food from the guard, and in return he gets some private time with a slave of his choosing. It's been Goro ever since our business started. I think they slip away while we're all working, so they don't get caught."

"I see. And is there a payment method between you and the other slaves to distribute the food?"

"No. I made a list of all the slaves, so I go in order for who gets the next ration. The newest slaves go to the end if the list. We've made a full round twice."

"That's a lot of food. Well, I must thank you for your cooperation Mr. Noshiro."

The serum wears off. He shakes his head and gives confused stares all around. I used just enough, 3cc for 3 minutes.

"What? What just...why did I...?"

"I must say I'm surprised at you. After all, if you're so generous to just give away food to all the other slaves, it's odd you'd be so quick to sell them out to save your own hide. No matter, to the fact of priorities, you _did_ disrespect our authority by "bending" the rules in your favor. So, to ensure trading isn't an issue," I grip my curved kunai. The two servants that dragged Ms. Mitsubishi away walk over and hold Mr. Noshiro in place. He fights, pleading that we don't do it. Not that he even knows what "it" is.

"No, please, I'm begging you, don't...please-gaaah!"

I slice off his right hand. He cries, screaming uncontrollably while staring wide-eyed at his missing appendage. I let him bleed out a little before applying a healing hand. The wound is closed, but the pain and shock are still felt. Immediately moving towards his left hand, he tries desperately to wiggle out of the servants' hold, but I manage to cut through that one too. His cries fill the room. I heal the wound completely, so not even pain can be felt on this side.

"Oh _no_ , Mr. Noshiro, what a terrible accident! Now you can't work for us anymore."

He pants deeply, obviously trying to move his hands, then cries slightly, "You sick _bastard_."

A mere insult. "Without hands you're almost useless, but don't worry, you still have a purpose."

"What? Wait, I thought... I thought you said I could be _free_!"

"Right, when you're useless." I walk past him, then stop in my tracks, remembering. "I _did_ say I was going to be lenient though, didn't I?" I look back at the servants, "give this man any meal of his choosing. Uhm, you may have to feed him." One of them tries to hold back a chuckle. "When he's finished, send him over to the experimental chamber for our Lord to play with."

They nod, and the man cries as they haul him away.

When the door closes, I walk down the aisle, facing away from the exit. I flick blood off of the blade of my kunai before wiping it with a damp rag one of the servants hands me. Meanwhile the slave and servant accused of playing a part in the smuggling are taken out for a good whipping.

That servant will never leave the slum now.

Their cries are heard through the thick stone walls. I gesture at Yuki Mitsubishi. Her cell door opens. "She'll take the place of Suki Mitsubishi."

Two servants take her to different quarters.

The rest of the slaves continue to have their eyes glued on me. "Now, because it's evident that you _all_ feel so deprived, tonight there will be no _sleeping_ , no _eating_ , no bathroom breaks. I don't want you to feel so neglected, because you're very much needed. Since you don't know that already, maybe 48 hours of good, hard working will enlighten you." The slaves try to be quiet, but it's almost impossible when hearing _that_ kind of news. "This will happen once a week for the next month. Then I'll be back to see what your thoughts are." I gesture to let the servants know it begins now.

All the cell doors open when I step out of the room and go back upstairs. In the hall leading to the slaves' corridor, Sasuke leans against the wall, arms crossed with a smile. A _smile_.

"Well, well, well, hel- _lo_ there."

"What're _you_ doing here?" I keep walking, putting the kunai away.

"I've never seen you so... aggressive."

"If that filth is to stay in line they _require_ an aggressive authority."

"Yeah, I get that. I just meant that you look hot doing it."

I almost stop walking, "Why..." _would you_ _ **say**_ _that?_ "…are you here?"

"Orochimaru wanted me to seize the smuggling issue, but it looks like you beat me to it. You know, you've really picked up your act from a week ago, it must be exhausting. Maybe you should take some time for yourself and unwind, relax, let yourself _go_."

With those last words, it's almost as if he was trying to insinuate something. "I can't, there's too much to do."

Sasuke steps in front of me so we stop walking, his hand planted on the wall next to me. "Forget that, you've done enough to keep the hideout afloat. The real issues have been handled already. If not a night, take an hour off."

"I do, when I sleep. Why do you even care what I do anyway? Are you trying to hint at something?"

His shoulders slouch.

"Unlike you, I am responsible for the state of Otogakure. Lord Orochimaru rules it, I sustain it. Which means, even the _small_ issues are _real_ issues. Now step aside."

I push past him and keep walking, making mental notes of what to do next.

Stopping by Jirobo's room, I inform him of the task to warden a few slaves as they clean the wreckage in the honor chamber, where servants have turned into prisoners and subject themselves to Lord Orochimaru's Juinjutsu, so that he may achieve immortality. Jirobo sighs with the rub of his neck, but ultimately accepts the task since he has nothing better to do.

Just down the hall is the experimental chamber, where I faintly hear my name being called. The metal door is cracked open, a bright light shining through, belittling the candles' efforts to brighten the area. Nudging it open, I see Lord Orochimaru busy at work on the slave I sent him. There's an air mask over his face, so I can only assume Lord Orochimaru hopes to either disfigure or infuse him with a form of "talent."

"Lord Orochimaru, were you calling for me?"

"Yes. First, thank you for this lovely specimen. The hand work isn't _your_ doing, is it?"

"Uhm, well..."

"Don't worry, I don't care. I called you here because I need you to go to Shukuba Town for me. There's word of a rogue ninja hiding out there, with a delicious power. I want you to find him and bring him here." He hands me a bloodied scroll with specifics. Still in possession of the rag from earlier, I use that to grab it.

"As you wish." Uck, leaving the hideout again. I bet there'll be a massive heap of things to do when I get back. "I'll leave immediately."

As I turn to depart, "Oh, and Kabuto. Don't disappoint me."

My gaze drops slightly to the remembrance of my incompetence, but I lift it so I may burn his image into my mind further, "Never again, my Lord."


	8. Value, at Last!

Chapter 8

There's no need to pack anything besides stuffing some cash in my pocket, so I make a short trip to my room before leaving officially. I've transferred all the known information of this guy on a card. Everything but a name, I only have an alias: Iron Giant.

That's fresh.

Putting the card with the rest, I dash away, leaping up to the tree branches hanging above. As I fly across the land, I begin to think-a dangerous pass time. It bothers me, I haven't seen Lord Orochimaru in a week-the longest we've ever been apart-right after a heavy make out session _he_ brought on, and then he just can't wait to get me out, it seems like. And when he sends me off, there's not even a sideways glance. I know he was in the middle of something, but even still. Maybe I'm just making this up. For all I know he never looked at me before sending me away in the past, and I'm just now noticing it because of what we did.

It's dusk, the perfect time of day. The sky fades into a dark navy while the little creatures of daylight scurry off to their burrows. Below, as I glide in the air, shuffling little bodies sift through the tall, cool grass. A chill sinks into the air as the sky alters black. No twinkling white lights tonight.

My heart thumps against the walls of my chest, my breathing rushed. Another branch jumped, gliding through the algid atmosphere, letting the waves of chills govern my mind until I begin to fall. Another thud and I'm back up. The sequence is both tiring and exhilarating, a high ordinarily unreachable, yet in this moment it slithers all around my body. The travelling is why I don't complain about missions outside of the hideout. In there, I'm trapped like a rat searching for the wedge of cheese.

For the next few days, it's nonstop jumping, gliding, flying.

If I could fly, I'd never come down.

Salty sweat thoroughly coats my face and neck, dampening every inch of me. I catch a branch with my hands and swing back up, resting in a sitting position with my feet connected with the wood. In the far distance, the tiled rooftops of a bustling town comes into view, Shukuba Town. Huffing roughly, I attempt to catch my breath. A couple of women to my left walk by, laughing, presumably talking about what some guy did at their workplace. That's _all_ women ever talk about.

The man I'm searching for is rather good-looking, if I do say so myself. So if he were to catch anyone's eye, it'd be a woman's. My original plan was to transform into a woman and go on from there, but honestly I think they'd probably react better to a handsome man. Since-I can be honest-I'm not much to look at, I need to decide on a face. I think they'd run away if I transformed into Lord Orochimaru, and Sasuke's face is too well known-an Uchiha skulking around? No thanks, I don't need that kind of attention.

That young slave who sold his body for the smuggling deal isn't too bad. I'll have to make a couple of modifications though.

Transforming into a taller, leaner-but fit-form, with ashy black hair slicked over my head and wisping up in the back, platinum eyes, narrow jawline and a long nose-with the added black suit and partially unbuttoned, white undershirt-I am damn sexy. However, looks can't cover smell, so before I attract all these women, I need a room to clean myself up. Hopping down from the branch to the road, I tuck my hands in my pockets and start walking. It takes much longer than darting, but the glances I get from different pairs of eyes-set at a distance-makes the elongated journey worth it. Maybe this is the taste of Sasuke's daily life-before he came to Otogakure. Walking into the closest hotel lobby, an older woman writes in a book, glasses at the end of her nose.

Seeing that makes me gulp. What if, when I'm older, I wear _my_ glasses like that?

Walking up to the counter, I ask for a room. She doesn't look up at me, saying they're full. I stand there, finding that hard to believe with it being early morning. And with her tone, I think she's just trying to get rid of me.

Noticing my lingering presence, she looks up with a scowl, "Didn't you hear...me...?" The hostility washes away. I stare at her, wide-eyed. "Oh, uhm, a room just opened up," she smiles with a hint of pink on her hollow cheeks. She shows me to my room. The sudden change in her demeanor is like dying, you're alive one moment and dead in the next.

She opens the door for me, I thank her with a bow and walk inside. It's small, cramped with the furniture stuffed in opposite corners, but it'll have to do. After glancing about, I take off the suit jacket. Then I realize she's still watching me.

The woman notices her behavior, apologizes, and closes the door.

I walk to the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I open the front of my shirt and scan myself.

"Damn, why haven't I tried this before?"

At this rate, all I need is a mirror in my room and I won't be sneaking into the showers again. Not that I will anyway with the locks being busted. When I get back I should send someone to fix those.

There really isn't much point in me turning back into myself just to take a shower and leave directly after, and I also don't want to. I want to shower with this new hot body of mine. It feels odd, touching and scrubbing my body that isn't mine. It's almost like cheating on myself—which is kind of sad when I think about it. It's not like I'm cheating on anyone else, since I'm not in a relationship or anything.

Erm, I might be-not that it really feels like it. For the sake of argument, I'm not.

After a nice cold shower, I dry off, ruffling up my hair in the towel.

Finding it hard to resist, I look in the mirror again.

God men are so hot.

Restyling my hair, I realize I don't have any clean clothes with me. I have mine transformed in sexy formal wear, but there again, the smell. Wondering what to do, I walk back into the room, where a folded stack rests on the bed. Walking up to it, it's almost an exact replica of the suit I was just wearing. The woman must've left these for me, but where in the hell did an old woman who's in the midst of working find such a nice suit, and _afford_ it? If she did get this, I must reimburse her, it's the right thing to do.

Getting dressed, I head back down to the lobby, but the older woman isn't anywhere to be seen.

I'm not about to go searching all over town to give my thanks, so I leave.

I pull out the man's card. His interests run on "predictable-asshole-interests," like gambling and drinking, girls, smoking, and apparently murder. A real winner, this one. I have a hunch at why Lord Orochimaru has taken a liking to him. His talent of course, capable to turn his entire body, inside and out, into impenetrable metal. But that's not what's captivating, what _is,_ is his ability to conserve every ounce of Chakura while in that state, it doesn't deplete even when utilizing jutsu. It's said that's because he's absorbing the energy of the universe, but I think that's pretty far-fetched. I bet obtaining his body would allow us to unlock a new wonder of the world, harvesting and harnessing the ability to be truly undisputed.

I have a feeling Lord Orochimaru will want him to survive the transition from powerful to defenseless, just for the psychological impact it'll have.

"Well, it looks like I'll be starting with the gambling parlors."

It's rather unpleasant, there's a hurricane of headache-enthusing noise, not an ounce of air in comparison to smoke, and people all around asking for money. I didn't come all this way to give money out to addicted morons. And another thing, nobody knows _anything_. I show a picture of this definite stand-out guy and even the women shrug their shoulders. I guess they're all too busy frittering their money away on a colorful machine to care about visiting murderers.

It's not like I should be talking about this guy like that, I have plenty of blood on my hands.

Unfortunately, there are only three gambling spots in this town, and not one person saw him. Then I'll just have to hit every alcohol-serving shop in town. That'll be fun.

The first few had nothing for me, but the next one I walk into, a small, family-friendly grill house, the owner smiles wide at me.

"Yeah," she swoons, "I saw that lovely face from afar. He went into that store across the street yesterday."

"Did you happen to see him get anything?"

"Just some metal paperweights."

"Thank you."

"Uhh, wait! W-wouldn't you like to stay, maybe eat something?"

"No thank you, not right now." She neglects to mask her disappointment, and when she does, I decide to test something out. I lean over the counter and hold the curl next to her face, "But," she looks at me with a red face, "I just might come back for _you_." Winking, I release her curl. Her face gets so red it looks like she's going to feint.

I leave the restaurant with a confident stride.

"Paperweights? That doesn't connect."

The next place I go is a full-fledged bar, walls stacked with bottles, yet with a quaint style. I begin to ask the owner a question but he quickly cuts me off.

"Either buy something or leave. I have no room for chatter."

So I buy a bottle of Sake and sit at one of the stools. He gives it to me with a small ceramic cup.

"I wanted to ask if you've seen this man." I show him the photo.

"Sure, he's a regular, quiet-type too. Doesn't usually come out this early, but I saw him today."

"Where?"

"Hmph, where do you think?" He points past me to a host club. "You young ones," he shakes his head.

"Thank you," I begin to leave.

"Woah, you're not going to stay and drink first?"

"Not really."

"At least take the bottle with you."

I grab it and nearly run over to the small building. Slowing down, I hunch over so the flags hanging in the entrance don't mess up my hair. Besides all of the girls, it doesn't look like anyone's here. The women stretch their spines tall from where they're sitting, each giving me wide smiles and giggles.

This is highly uncomfortable for me, but one of these women must know something.

"Ooh, look how strong he is." They begin to crowd around me, taking my arms and wrapping theirs around me.

"Uhh, uhm, hello ladies. Do you think you could answer a question for me?"

"Anything for you, Baby."

"Can you tell me about one of your recent customers?"

The girl on my left arm tugs me in her direction, "C'mon, you know we can't talk about that stuff. Let's talk about you, where are you from?"

"Uhh, nowhere around here."

The strawberry blonde in front of me laughs, "Duh, we already knew that."

They pull me towards the stairs to take me to the "VIP" section. I politely protest, but I guess girls don't understand the word no. Dragging me all the way up, they throw me on one of their pouffy red lounge chairs. It feels like it's trying to eat my person, and so I can't even manage to get up, mainly because when I attempt to, the girl with the black bob haircut sits on my lap, crossing her legs and laying on my torso. A couple of the others dance slowly to the music playing in the background while the rest try joining me on the chair. A red head with long curly hair sits to my right, clearly trying to show off her endless cleavage. As if the short skirts and low-riding crop tops aren't bad enough, the two women dancing start taking off their clothes.

"Dear Lord! What on Earth are you doing?!"

The red head leans in, nearly kissing my cheek, "Aww! He's _embarrassed_ , how cute!"

"Don't worry," the platinum blonde says to my left, "why don't we play a little to put your mind at ease?"

I am starting to freak out over here, dearly missing the times when no one noticed me. And I also guess I got the description of a host club wrong, because this is _way_ more intense than what I'm prepared to endure. I haven't even paid yet. Do I pay afterwards?

And, it's not doing a thing for me. It's more so annoying and highly claustrophobic than anything else.

The red head is disappointed to find no stiff toy in my slacks, and pouts. "I think he's _too_ nervous."

"Well yeah, what do you expect with all you skanks hanging around?"

"Look who's talking, you've got no ass and an overload of boob and you're wearing a skirt that's shorter than your top!"

"Listen to you two, like you actually _deserve_ this client."

None of them pay any attention to me, which I love, but their arguing won't get me the answers I need. I play it cool after taking a breath. "Ladies, ladies. Please, it's not any of you, I'm just not used to all of this attention."

"How not?"

"You're sweet. Are those freckles? You'd look even cuter without that makeup on them." I take my thumb and brush the foundation off of the red head's cheeks. They burn pink.

I then reach around the black bob's waist and give her a hug, not wanting her breasts to be pressed against my face, but they end up there anyway.

"He's sweet too! Say something about me."

The two that were dancing keep their undergarments on and rush over for compliments. I dish them out left and right, a hug here, caress there, and they eat it right up. A couple of them try to sneak a kiss, but I'm not having any of that.

An hour has passed by. I guess I'm having _too_ much fun with this.

"So ladies, tell me, are there any other good-looking men that come around here?"

"Well, there is this one guy."

"Shh! We're not allowed to speak of other clients."

I smile, "He's not cuter than me is he?"

"Oh no, not in a million years."

It's a start. "I don't know, there is this one guy that makes me feel pretty insecure. He has misty blue hair."

"Oh! You mean Osaki Kata!"

"Mizumi!"

"Oops! Sorry..."

The strawberry blonde sighs before facing me, "You'll keep this between us, right hon'?"

"Of course, I really must be going now though." I carry the black bob as I stand. She squeals merrily before I set her down where I used to sit.

I take out a bundle of money, but the strawberry blonde stops me, "No, no. This one will be on us, for obvious reasons." She glares at the platinum blonde.

"Thank you. I may be back, you women are a delight."

They all giggle, "What a charmer."

Before I reach the door to go downstairs, someone bursts in. He holds a sword, his misty blue hair coming to a point. "Looking for me?!"

Reacting instantly, I engage my Temple of Nirvana technique. The man's motions slow as white feathers lightly drift to the ground. The women all fall over, sleeping soundly. The man drops to the floor, his weapon clanking on the wooden panels. His appearance matches my card, so this must be Osaki Kata. I rub my neck, tense and stressed out. Despite how accustomed I got to all of those women around me, it was still nerve-wracking. I could've probably injected one with the truth serum so I could've left earlier, but I guess it's a good thing I didn't. It's only because I'm still here that Osaki fell into my clutches.

I hoist him up and carry him downstairs. The man that runs the joint catches sight of me.

"I guess my friend drank too much," I hold up my Sake bottle.

He nods, obviously unaware that he just got here and had the intention of attacking me—unless, of course, Osaki was hiding out this entire time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.

Dragging Osaki's body all the way back to my hotel room, I think of how that man will react when he goes upstairs to check on the women, just for them all to be sprawled out, snoring and drooling.

The older woman in the lobby watches me curiously as I take Osaki to my room. When inside, I lean him against my bed while I go use the restroom. I just finish washing my hands when something suddenly yanks me back, forcing me against the wall. Shaking off my surprise, it's Osaki. For some reason my genjutsu was annulled.

He grins widely at me, staring me down and scanning me from head to toe. If my genjutsu doesn't have an effect, then confrontation will have to be the option undertaken, which is a downside for me, since Lord Orochimaru wants this prick alive—and also my specialty lies in espionage.


	9. Mission Apparently Complete

Chapter 9

There's a shine of dissatisfaction in his eyes. A dosage of the hallucinogen I made alongside the truth serum drops from my sleeve and plops in my palm. Flicking off the protective cover, I hold it in my fist while aiming the needle for his throat. Swiftly swinging up my arm, he deflects, keeping my arm at a safe distance, and eventually pushes me off, tossing the drug under the bed. Smoke then fills the bathroom, cloaking every inch once visible. I cough, not particularly enjoying the suffocation. His hands remain on my wrists, only they're not his hands anymore, they're Sasuke's.

"Sasuke?! What the hell, is this a trick?" There's no genjutsu in the air. I suppose this would've been too extravagant for him to pull off anyway.

"Pretty good huh?" He grins mischievously, "And you fell for it. I put contacts on just in case I needed my Sharingan for anything, and I'll admit, I didn't see that genjutsu coming, but you know us Uchiha's, experts in every field."

I grit my teeth to his self-gratifying attitude. "You can let me go now. And why on earth would you do this? Stalling me on another mission, I have work to do you know!"

"You mean like searching for some guy who's worthless?"

I groan with the roll of my eyes, "What are you going on about now?"

"There _is_ a guy named Osaki Kata that lives here, but he doesn't have a mystical power," Sasuke shakes his hands dramatically and begins to burst into laughter. "He's not even a ninja! I just told Orochimaru that to "get you out of the house" is all."

I can't believe what I'm hearing, "Sasuke, you idiot! I'll kill you! You're damn lie kept me looking for a guy we didn't even want. I spent _money_ , all of my _time_ , God damn it. Oh-" I come to a realization, "That means you were never under my genjutsu at all! You had me carry you all the way over here for nothing?!"

He laughs hysterically, "Yeah, haha, that's what I meant by _good_." He starts tearing up. "Ahh, heh, who are you supposed to be anyway?"

"Why does it matter? Uck, of all the inconsiderate things..."

"Just inconsiderate? Damn, I should've tried harder."

I walk into the room, watching out the window with one hand on my hip and the other over my mouth. It burns me to know that I'm all talk when it comes to beating up Sasuke. Still, to do this _now_ of all times is just reckless.

That privileged little bastard.

This was my chance to redeem myself to Lord Orochimaru, to prove I'm not as useless as I've lead him to believe. Now it's completely washed away. Damn that Sasuke. He tries to act all cool, but the reality is that his humor is at level with Naruto's.

There's movement in the reflection of the glass, but I don't move, I'm too infuriated to move. A presence hovers over my shoulder, and then a soft voice tickles my ear, "I didn't upset you too much, did I?"

"Oh please, you'd love it if I had a heart-attack. What would make it even sweeter is if I fell unconscious and became comatose."

"Well I won't lie, you unconscious and alone in a room with me does sound pretty sexy."

"What is _wrong_ with you?" He stays standing behind me as I begin to chew on my thumb nail. I assume he looks at the view, as I am, the bustling crowds and obsolete sky. "This was my chance..." I say in an almost defeated tone. "When I left, he told me not to disappoint him. You haven't been around-or paid attention, I'm sure-long enough to know what that means, but I have, I know what that means. It was my _last_ chance."

There's a brief pause, "Why do you care about what _he_ thinks?"

"Because I-!" I bite my lip.

"...youuu...?"

"Nothing."

"Well, since there's nothing wrong and you suddenly have a lot of free time on your hands, how's about we do something?"

He wraps his arms around my shoulders, hands on my chest, resting his chin against my right. I jump to the sudden action, tensely bringing my hands down to my sides. Something about his hold is so oddly comforting. I compare it to the one Lord Orochimaru gave me a week or so ago. He didn't hold me quite as tight, but the feeling melts away my acrimony. Without my consent, my head tilts, leaning against his temple.

I can feel his eyes go wide.

Realizing the situation, I wiggle free with an awkward laugh, brushing my clothes, "Well, that was-"

"Nice."

He tries not to, but I see that smile.

Straightening my suit, my face burns red to my embarrassment. Frowning won't make it as prominent, right? " _You_ can stay, but I'm returning to Otogakure."

"Let me see you."

"Wh-what?!" He catches me off guard, like usual. What a strange man. Taking my arms out of the petrified fashion they portray, I stuff my hands in my pockets and tread over to leave the room.

Sasuke catches my shoulder, his expression serious. "I didn't mean in _that_ way."

His voice is riddled with blithe, but that expression is so cold and unwavering in its attempts to disconcert one.

"Not that I mind if you decide to, but I'm going to need my clothes back _some_ time."

I pinch my suit jacket. Of _course_ it was him. I should just assume everything strange or out of the ordinary is somehow Sasuke's doing.

"Or," He smirks, "so you don't feel alienated, I can join you."

Ohh my God, he's so bizarre.

An explosion of smoke surrounds us as I release the Chakra once holding my false identity. His hand hasn't left my shoulder, but when unable to see, it isn't too much of a bother. I enjoy this break, indulging in the fact that no one can see me, unless Sasuke has activated his Sharingan.

The smoke sinks to the floor and begins to fade into nothingness. Grabbing the opening of my suit jacket, I slip it off my shoulders, along with Sasuke's hand. He watches in sheer shock as the jacket leaves my form and I begin working on the cufflinks. Handing him the jacket, and setting the cufflinks on the nearby dresser, I pick up the stack of my old clothes from the floor and walk into the bathroom. There is no door, unfortunately, but it's all the privacy I'm going to get without him constantly reminding me of how I'm wearing his clothes.

As the formal buttoned top comes off, I catch him trying to watch through the mirror. With a sigh, my hands prop themselves on my hips. He knows I don't want him to look, but he just keeps inspecting me like I'm a crime scene.

I move out of view of the mirror and continue to undress before slipping on my uniform.

"You're no fun," he whines.

Ignoring Sasuke, I wonder what Lord Orochimaru must be up to now. Perhaps he's finished with the experiment on that one slave. I chuckle to myself at what could very easily be Lord Orochimaru's plan, to give the man the ability to manipulate Chakra through the use of hand signs. Ahh, that devil.

Getting my legs through my uniform, I notice Sasuke gawking from the doorway. I freeze, holding my breath. My face turns to a tomato red.

"So," he says all cool-like, "going commando I see."

My body tenses immensely.

I need to stop drifting into thought whenever Sasuke's around.

He steps inside, one hand on the frame of where a door _could_ go. Shifting my uniform up to my naval, he takes another step, his hand leaving the doorframe and dragging against the wall. There's enough space between us to keep me comfortable, but not enough for me to get my clothes on with the distance of each one of his steps, so I stop moving.

He takes another step.

Great, just when I thought I knew what he was thinking: a race. If I move panicky now he'll stop me with one swoop, so I continue to stay in place, gripping my uniform tightly around my waist. As he comes forward, it's like I'm backing into a corner.

Actually, that _is_ what I'm doing.

The cool wall is a nice change from the raging heat of my body temperature, but that doesn't exactly help my situation.

He plants a hand on the wall next to my head and leans forward with a slight smile. His face is just barely away from my own.

I'm sure with some effort I could probably fight my way out of this, but what would Lord Orochimaru say then? Let's just say Sasuke returns with a black eye, I not only failed to do what Lord Orochimaru asked of me, but now I've struck his favorite toy.

Not saying I could get the opportunity to actually punch Sasuke's eye, but it's nice to think I could.

His eyes start closing as he inches closer, and it's only now that I recognize what it is he's trying to do.

"Drink," I blurt out with wide eyes, panicking with a hasty heart.

He backs away, "What?"

"Do you want to drink?" _I'm_ not going to have any, but _you_ can. Something about the taste is just awful, to me. "I got some Sake, thinking I'd find clues on the nobody you had Lord Orochimaru order me to find."

He grins, "Sure, if you don't mind sharing."

We leave the bathroom and sit across from each other on the floor. My uniform wraps over my shoulders and splays out around my neck. Poor Sasuke, he must be deprived of affection since Lord Orochimaru is always so occupied with things. I know it's not really _him_ acting weird, but his desires influencing him to be.

It makes me wonder though, how deprived can he actually be? Lord Orochimaru was "busy" in his quarters a few days ago, which is why _I_ had to go into the slum. I just assumed Sasuke was the cause.

I hand him the bottle, having no glasses to pour the Sake in.

"So," I begin, "how exactly did you get here? Did you just follow me the entire way?"

"Pretty much," He takes a swig. "Hmm, mild. Definitely not enough to get drunk off of."

Maybe not for _you_ , I drank a full bottle with Sakkon and the others a while ago and tried to do my normal duties directly after. It was a nightmare. I ordered the servants to take the slaves out jogging. They didn't, thankfully, they have enough brains for that, but the embarrassment sticks.

"When this one gets low, I'll send a shadow clone to get us some more."

Some _more_? What does he think this is, a _vacation_? Well, I suppose every day is a vacation for Sasuke, the spoiled brat, but after he's had his fun, I plan on leaving.

It's almost annoying how mildly he takes Lord Orochimaru's word. If he were _anyone_ else, he wouldn't be able to act like this. Unless, of course, the person he suddenly became was Itachi.

"I have an idea," He states, breaking my train of thought.

"That's rare."

"Let's play a game, like a truth game, or something."

"Ehh?"

"Here," he gives me the bottle, "I'll say something, and if it's true, you take a drink of Sake."

"And if it's not?"

"Then it's my turn."

"Sounds simple enough. How do we decide who-wait! I'm not drinking!"

"Yes you are, and play fairly, that's the whole point of this."

I sigh, willing to at least _try_ to play. Life has been so full of routine and lackluster results to problems that never seem to run dry. I can use a little distraction. It might loosen me up a bit too. I know I must be stern with the slaves, but maybe I went a little overboard a few days ago.

"Alright," I submit, "talk away." It's what you're good at.

"Okay, have you ever been to the Leaf?"

"Wh-you _know_ I have."

"Answer with the booze, not your lips."

Exhaling, I take a small sip.

"No! You're doing it wrong. A _gulp_ , one full gulp. Are you going to play by the rules or not?"

"Okay! Alright, sheesh." I take a large swallow, "There, satisfied?"

"No... Are you a man?"

"What? These are stupid questions!"

"Dammit Kabuto, drink or I'll shove the whole thing down your throat."

Geez, who knew he could be such a hard-ass when it came to playing games?

I take another swallow.

Why am I even doing this again? I try to make reasons for myself to do these things, and then I wonder what the hell's wrong with me for going through with it.

"Do you have a crush on Orochimaru?"

I stiffen, my hand clenching on the bottle. Sasuke stares into my eyes, digging for information. He starts out with questions he knows the answers to and then shows up with _this_? I don't know why he's investigating me, of all people, and so far I don't think I've really given him any reason to.

Accepting of the fact that I'm slow to catch on, I finally know why Sasuke wanted to play, not to get me drunk, not to put me in a position I don't like, not to get me out of my routine, but to sabotage me. I'm sure finding out my secrets will be good blackmail for him. Well I won't play his little game. I keep that bottle on my knee, choking down my pride as a truthful speaker. All the while, he watches me burn crimson red with deep concentration.

"No then? I guess it's my turn."

He grabs the bottle, almost taking it away, but my fingers won't let loose. He glances up at me. I release my hand and exhale.

There's no going back now.

I just _lied_.

If it's Sasuke I'm lying to, it's not that big of a deal then, right?

Looking off to the side with a pout, I express myself, "I don't know why you like these games."

"Well you could always _ask_ me, and find out."

I face him.

"But not right now! We're in the middle of something."

There's an extra-cheery tone in his voice all of a sudden. Maybe I just imagined it.

"Okay," let's see, maybe I'll do what he did just to make it interesting. "Do you like my Oyako Donburi?"

I knew the answer to this had to be-

"No."

He hands the bottle back to me.

"What? But I've seen you eat it!"

"That doesn't mean I liked it."

"This isn't fair, you tricked me."

"No I didn't, you just assumed I liked your cooking."

"If my cooking is so bad, why did you eat—and _finish_ —all the meals I made?"

"I didn't want to be rude."

"Well, never mind, do over."

"You can't do over, that's against the rules."

"Well it didn't count! Here's my real question." He gives in, slightly glaring at me. "Have you been following me around?"

He takes a gulp.

"I knew it!"

"Well yeah, I just told you I followed you here."

"That's not what I meant! You know it's not."

"How could I _know_? I'm not telepathic."

"Well I'm sure if you really wanted to you'd find a way. Just, gimme that!" I snatch the bottle from him. "Go."

He laughs, "I didn't know you were such a sore loser, Kabuto."

"Grr, shut up!"

With me losing my temper like this, I must already be feeling the effects of the beverage. Sakkon and the others say I'm a complicated drunk, angry, sleepy, energetic and annoying, all of the specific qualities different drunks display while intoxicated. For instance, Tayuya is an angry drunk, Sakkon is energetic, always trying to get out and do something, Ukon is much the same, Jirobo is sleepy, and Kidomaru is a flirty drunk. He tried asking Tayuya out one time. She just called him a moron and threw him a safe distance away from her.

At this rate I'll probably be up for anything. How embarrassing, I'm such a lightweight.

"Alright, I've got one. Have you ever kissed Orochimaru?"

Why is he asking about Lord Orochimaru now? Do I like him, have I kissed him? What business of it is his anyway? The audacity of some people.

Not prepared to fail miserably in lying twice in the same hour, I take a gulp. The corners of his mouth curve downward slightly, but his smile is quickly recovered, like he's made a decision.

His smile is etched with impish glory.

"Do you crave it?"

I blink, then tilt my head in confusion.

"Do you crave _me_?"


	10. Amity Without the Fervor

Chapter 10

An eerie silence befalls the room. What once was lighthearted is now ample with forlorn. The antsy feeling inside intensifies Sasuke's carnivorous stare.

"What did you say?"

He remains silent with a condescending smirk on his face. I'd mentally visualize myself slapping him, but I'm too in shock to even do that. This is when I'm truly lost with him, whatever goes on in that head doesn't make the least bit of sense to me. Just out of the blue, a habit of his, he springs up things that I wouldn't even think of. Honestly, I just talk about some food I made and he goes about spewing his randomness all over the room.

What does he mean anyway? _Crave_ him? What is he, a chocolate?

I assume he waits for my answer, since he continues to ignore my question. Not exactly knowing what it is he's even talking about, I conjure up a response that'll leave him satisfied enough to hopefully end the game.

"Only at night."

His eyes go wide with blushing cheeks.

My sweet tooth usually comes at around ten-ish, and is never satisfied until the dawn, unless I actually manage to eat something sweet. Because Sasuke wishes to be viewed as a piece of candy, that's how I decided to construct my evaluation.

"Oh yeah," I take a swallow.

Sasuke just watches me for a few moments. I can't help but grin. My answer must've really knocked his socks off.

"I, umm," he scratches his cheek while looking away, "I don't know what to say."

"Well it's still your turn to ask me stuff, unless you want to drink."

He faces me, taking the bottle after staring into my eyes for a second. When he does that, stares me down, I wonder what he's looking for, probably any signs that I'm lying. Lucky for him, I'm a terrible liar with individuals who've retained my many demeanors, so it's not that hard to discover.

He shakes it, "We're low, I'll send my clone now."

His cheeks are still rosy. Maybe he's a lightweight too! That would be a life saver, because then I wouldn't have to be so bashful with my gulps. Then again, Sasuke's monitoring skills make sure that I'm not too bashful anyway, so it's really just a big lose for poor old Kabuto.

His transformed clone leaves, the tactic clearly meant to keep me quite, as Sasuke would see no point in transforming-Lord knows why.

I wonder what he's thinking right about now. Some curiosity for the twerp stops by every now and then to deter from awkward silences, such as this one, and I can't really tell right now, not that I can most of the time anyway.

He's so complex. Lord Orochimaru is much easier to read.

He takes the bottle and chugs it. I blink, thinking maybe I won or something. He sighs after pulling it away, "We'll continue the game when my clone gets back."

"...Okay."

He's acting a little weirder than usual now, and so serious. Just a minute ago he was complaining I wasn't playing the game right. He's just being moody again, I guess.

I turn my attention to the window, the blue sky. It's not as bright as an hour or so ago, so it must be getting closer to noon. It's strange how I haven't seen any birds, but maybe it's not that strange. There's probably not a good supply of food for them in the vicinity. I'll take a stroll by the pier before leaving for the hideout, not to see the birds, but because I never see the ocean anymore. It's been too long and I'd like to rekindle our outstretched relationship.

"Do you _like_ to drink?"

Sasuke's voice shatters my ongoing thoughts into silence.

"Uhh, I guess so."

"So you don't know?"

"Yeah, I do, so what of it?"

"Let's play something else in a few minutes."

"Bored with being honest already?"

"Something like that. I was just wondering if you'd be able to beat me at a drinking contest."

I raise a finger, "Uhh, I already know the answer to that."

"No you don't." My finger curls over. "You and I have never hung out like this before, so you couldn't possibly know if you or I would last longer. For all you know, I'm a terrific lightweight, and I'm just good at hiding it."

"So you _are_ a light weight." That solves the concern for me getting hopelessly drunk alone. And also the red in his cheeks.

"I didn't say that."

I glare at him.

His clone returns with a box full of different liquors. It must've cost a small fortune to pay for so much. And what a waste too, there's no way Sasuke and I can finish off all of these drinks. Nor would I want to, the hangover would be a killer.

I change my mind so quickly. Before, it was "not going to drink at all," but that's since changed.

I want to still be able to at least walk straight so I can get back to the hideout without worrying about smashing my face in a tree branch.

The clone disappears.

"Let's mix drinks," Sasuke blurts out eagerly.

I'm not entirely certain, but mixing alcohol isn't a smart idea, I hear. It's not like it'd change the fact that we're still drinking, so I shrug my shoulders in compliance, seeing as how Lord Orochimaru doesn't expect me back for quite a while-not meaning I won't rush away at the first opportunity. I just need a few hours to cool down if I get too hammered anyway, or if drastic measures must be taken, I can spend the night. But either way, I won't be reprimanded for my time being spent. It's what I'm spending it _on_ that would make Lord Orochimaru flip.

But he won't know...unless Sasuke says anything.

With how adamant Sasuke is for spending time with me, I can assume he won't try to demolish his chances for the future. Hopefully that future isn't too near. He's such a bad influence.

I wonder how Lord Orochimaru will react when he finds out that all of this time was a complete waste.

Oh well, that's not something I need to worry about right this minute.

Sasuke prepares the drinks, screwing and popping off the lids and corks, stirring the mixture of bliss in empty cups his clone happened to remember to pick up.

He seems so intent on this. Weird.

Finally deeming it well-stirred, he looks up at me and hands me one of the glasses. Taking it, I want to laugh. It's almost like he's pouting...or embarrassed. But what could he be embarrassed about, especially with that menhir of an ego?

His scowl shows he's noticed my altering disposition, so I gulp it down before taking him on for this particular challenge.

I've never binge drank before, so I honestly don't know how much of it I can take before getting sick. I just hope Sasuke doesn't lay witness to my crumbling authoritative stature.

"So, how does this actually go?"

"Just like it looks, drink until you can't."

"Okay, what're the stakes for who wins?"

"We'll decide that later. On the count of three. One...two...three."

The bottoms of our cups flip upward as we begin gulping the fiery syrup down. After a couple of swallows, my eyes start flooding. My throat is blazing, nerve-endings zapping uncontrollably, in no way capable of being consoled. I can almost feel the acidic fluids sizzling holes into my trachea and esophagus. The inner tissue will peel as easily as though searing hot oil pours over my flesh, leaving nothing but a pink, bloody monstrosity to walk the lands.

Coughing and dropping my drink, I gasp for air, holding my throat as it's surly dissolved by now. Sasuke watches with an indifferent expression, the rim of the cup still at his lips. When my horrendous hacking ceases, he puts the empty glass on the wooden floor panels and licks his lips.

I clear my throat, my face is irrefutably glowing a bright red. Thankfully, I can barely see it.

Without missing a beat, he climbs over and pushes me on the floor, forcing his lips against mine while screwing his eyes shut. My heart races in my ribcage, enthusing a cold sweat.

"You lose," he whispers before kissing me again.

I hold my breath, eyes wide and body burning as if I was on fire. The alcohol starts working its magic, making my body tingle all over.

Despite knowing I'm in the real world, all I can hope for is a very extravagant illusion.

This can't be real, I'm still looking for Osaki. Sasuke's not here, we're not lying against each other on the floor, drinking, _kissing_ , this is just a dream.

That's right, a dream.

He pecks my neck.

If my heart beats any faster it will surly explode. Soon I will be driven into panic, converting to a fight or flight setting. I just need to work up a diversion for when I finally make a run for it. I suppose substitution could work right about now, but I feel so funny, feeling the need to giggle with every slight movement.

I can't build up my chakura.

His hand traces my jawline, and even though my instincts say flee, I melt into the touch, eyes drifting to a close, tension washing away, steadily replaced with a fuzzy sensation.

"Sasuke," my mind, once screaming for things to say, to deter him, to tell him that I hate his guts for playing with my rollercoaster of emotions and turning around and torturing me with his effortless magnetism is beyond malevolence—it just clears away, calmly drifting to the distance so my tongue lies naked with only this man's name printed on it.

"Kabuto," he digs his arms under my shoulders and neck, holding me close. Without realizing it, I do the same. I just want to be held...by Sasuke, I want Sasuke to hold me.

What on Earth did I just think?

Our lips stay locked.

Starved of human contact for so long when doing nothing but craving it in the time the need is neglected was too much.

Maybe...

No! What am I saying?! This is Sasuke, I can't give in to him just because it seems like he may want me—in a very vivid portrayal of that fallacy.

I push him back into a sitting position, the action being increasingly strenuous due to the intense relaxation of my muscles. I keep the smile from forming on my face and bury my head in my hand. He watches patiently as I wipe my eyes and sigh. "Stop it," I mutter before dropping my hand.

I'm exhausted after all of this, I just want to go back to the hideout and take a nice, long nap.

"Sasuke, you don't have to act like this to make me feel better about Lord Orochimaru."

There's a silence.

"...What?"

"Really, it would be better if you didn't pretend anymore. It's tiring, being teased like that all the time."

"...You are _such_ an idiot." He mocks, but there is no irritation in his voice. "Who said it was just a tease?"

"Sasuke, I think we should just go-"

"Shut up." He launches forward and forces himself on me, kissing me roughly with his arms strapped around my back.

My hands lightly hang on his shoulders, ordered to shove him away but too taken with his motions to do as they're told. My eyelids meet as his affections override my system. Creeping my hands behind his neck, I slip into his enticing spell.

Letting out a small whimper makes him slightly more animalistic in his successful attempt to make me swoon.

"Kabuto," He pulls back, looking into my eyes with want.

My thumb traces his lips. He kisses it and leans into my hand before taking a last look at me, then lifts me by my shirt as he stands up. He throws me on the bed and jumps on top, biting my neck with ravenous appetite. He struggles to tear his clothes off, making frustrated groans, glancing at my vulnerable self. Getting his shirt off after sitting up, he darts back to me, planting his hand on my hard member.

"Ahh!"

"Yes, moan for me, Kabuto." He's nearly begging me.

My hands wonder his tight body as I submit to his demands. I begin to unravel the purple ropes around his thin waist and he pulls down my collar, stuffing his hand under my shirt, feeling around my chest. I get the ropes off, and now his pants sag below the line of his dark blue boxers.

Our moans and heavy breathing fill the air.

Finally sick of it, Sasuke tugs and pulls to get my clothes off, but since it's a one piece, he has quite the time. Soon, he takes his katana and slices through the abdomen. I scream in fright, but he doesn't meet my flesh, obviously from luck alone.

Throwing the weapon on the floor, he plants a kiss on me while feeling around my torso, "Don't be nervous. Like I'd ever hurt you."

I think nervous is putting it lightly.

I arch myself up with his urging, but grab his hand before it slips under my clothes a second time. His eyes meet mine once again. I bite my lip.

"Sasuke I...I don't think...I mean-"

"Are you embarrassed?" A giant smile stretches across his face.

I wouldn't exactly say _embarrassed_ , I have more dignity than that. More so diffident, though that's not exactly an upgrade from the last title.

He caresses me over my pants. My body tenses as I hold back the urge to moan. I can feel my face getting hotter, squeezing my eyes closed with a deep swallow.

The sensitivity of his touch is magnified with this glowing twitter dancing all throughout my form.

Lifting my gaze, his hunger is palpable.

"Ooh, Kabuto," his lips graze mine while he shoots his hand down my pants.

I gasp.

His fingers lace tentatively around my sex, careful not to send me over the edge. He slithers his tongue into my mouth. I cup his face with my hands and grip his hair.

Before I know it, he rips away from my grip, pulls down on the end of the tear located at my naval, and slips me into his mouth. With my loud outburst, I begin to get self-conscious if others can listen in, but Sasuke takes my mind to other places.

He murmurs to himself while getting into a rhythm.

"It's too much." I don't want to yet, but I just might. Sasuke lifts his head with a final lick, gawking at me. I heave, refraining from looking at him.

Ohh, the embarrassment, what he's-no-what _we're_ doing, it's almost unbearable. How did I get in this situation?

Sasuke suddenly rips the tear down the middle of my uniform all the way to the crotch, exposing my most secret of parts more clearly. He leans back to take in the view. As he stares, I shift my legs, lift to rest, only to lift again, not realizing it doesn't affect his line of sight in the least. He shakes his head at me, gets on his knees and spreads my legs, revisiting what he just left. The fold of my knees drape over his shoulders.

His soft, wet mouth has me fully intoxicated.

After some time, he pulls away and bites my inner thigh, hushing my cry with the soothing caress of his free hand down my torso.

And then there's a knock at the door.

We both look across the room. A dead silence weighs in on us. For only seconds we stare at the door, but it feels like forever, and whoever's waiting won't do so for long.

I'd stand if I could, but the room is spinning right now.

Sasuke hoists up his pants while swaying in his attempts to reach the door. I take both halves of my uniform and cover myself, mulling over what it was Sasuke and I were just doing.

He opens the door to find the old woman from the lobby. She tries to peek inside, but he blocks the entryway. Apparently she was concerned of the noises coming from this room and decided to investigate.

It's a good thing she did. I don't know how far we would've gone if she hadn't.

Sasuke assures her that we're alright and convinces her to get out of the way for when he closes the door. He sighs deeply with one hand on the slate of wood, visibly defeated.

He must've just come to the realization too.

I sit up, clutching my collar and crotch areas, something building up within me. I look around, shaking my head in disbelief, but that only makes it worse. I groan, stumbling to my feet. Sasuke peaks over as I rock back and forth in my hurried attempts to reach the porcelain throne.

My insides burn for the rest of the day.


	11. Haunting Regret

Chapter 11

My eyes try to open, but they're bombarded with blinding light. Why would it be so bright? I'm back at the hideout, and the candles aren't so domineering. Maybe Sasuke tore the ceiling off again.

Taking the blanket off my form and sitting up, I stretch my legs.

An arm falls to my side.

The blur of everything contorts my imagination. Maybe it's not an arm, it could easily be a dead body. Searching for my glasses, I pray that it is just that and not something horrible. Knowing that someone is sharing my bed with me is enough to distract me for the rest of the day, and it's not like I have nothing to do.

An eternity passes, but I astonishingly discover those flimsy, metal-framed spectacles just barely under the bed. Slipping them on, the smeared white pigment of my world focuses to a bright morning. A bird balances on a branch hanging in front of the window. Green leaves sprawl out in all directions, taking a good half of the view. It hops to the side, cautious of my presence.

There's a biting chill chewing on my front. Looking down, I see my clothes are torn in half.

"What the hell?"

Remembering the object to my left, I land a hand on a forearm. Twisting around, there's a body behind me, face hidden by blankets.

This room isn't mine, this view isn't Otogakure. I never went back.

Why wouldn't I go back?

The body groans, bringing an arm around my waist, "Mm, good morning."

That voice...

"Wha..." I move the blanket, "Sasuke?"

He leans back with a smile, "I didn't think we'd sleep for so long."

"Oh God," I hold myself up with my palms on the mattress, "then, it _wasn't_ a dream."

"Relax, it's not like we did anything."

"How is what we did _not_ doing anything? Ugh, never mind you, I need to head out now. I've wasted too much time already."

"Good luck. With those clothes on, you'll need it to not get reported."

I grit my teeth and roll my hands into fists. I can't allow my emotions to take over yet. When I have nothing to lose I can go crazy, but not now. With a deep sigh, I calm down.

"You could always borrow those clothes I got for you yesterday, at a price of course."

Dear Lord, I can only imagine what disgusting things are spiraling around in that demented cranium of his. But, it's not like I have a choice here. With these torn in two, there's no doubt I'll pick up some dearly unwanted attention.

This'll teach me to not pack a second pair of clothes.

"What're the terms?"

His grin grows into a deranged smile, stretching from ear to ear.

I haven't agreed to _anything_ yet.

"You can borrow my clothes for the road back as long as you act like we're dating in public."

"What...why?"

"That's the condition, take it or leave it. And, this is a limited time offer, so answer in the next three seconds. ...One."

Great, I don't have time to think up any alternatives now.

"Alright...I accept."

"Sweet, I didn't even have to count to two. Well you want to get ready, hon? We should be leaving in just a few minutes."

Uck, what a little jerk. Just a moment ago _I_ was the one eager to leave. And what's with the ' _hon'_ deal? I thought this was just for the public eye.

I wonder what would've happened if I refused. Knowing how stubborn Sasuke can be, I doubt he'd help me in the least after rejecting him like I would have. Unless I found safety pins somewhere, I wouldn't be able to leave the hotel. Any robes I borrow from here wouldn't be allowed to leave the premises, and since I can't go outside to shop for new clothes-and Sasuke sure as hell wouldn't go for me-I'd be stuck with my junk hanging out.

I guess my dead soul jutsu could've been an option, but it's too late, and it would've been a huge chunk of chakura wasted on such a frivolous thing. Oh wait, I could've used transformation jutsu! Well if that's not a kick in the groin. No matter, I _do_ have morals I live by. If I don't stick with my word now, I'd be a liar _and_ a coward. Only a weak-willed moron would run away from a challenge. What do I have to do anyway? Hold hands, maybe a peck on the cheek? I'm not germophobic- _that_ , I've displayed so colorfully-so it's not exactly an issue in this case. What will be traumatic are the mental repercussions of acting in such ways.

He gets up without any pants on.

I'd look away, but his boxers are covering the most disturbing areas, so there's no need.

He picks up the heap of clothes on the bathroom floor and tosses them on the bed. "There you go. I left the cufflinks on the dresser."

I sit and wait for him to turn around or leave.

He folds his arms, leaning against the wall, "Look, I don't think it's really necessary for either of us to leave the room when one is getting undressed anymore. It seems a little...contradictory to what happe-"

"Alright! Alright..."

I rise up and fiddle with the opening, still holding it closed. My awkward gaze meets his, face burning. We stand and watch each other for several moments, neither moving a single muscle.

"Well?" He finally asks, breaking the heavy silence.

"Please turn around." My voice is small, cracked and squeaky, clearly showing my anxiety.

" _Please_? Wow. Okay, since you asked nicely." He does, facing the bathroom, arms still crossed, body still bare-except for the Navy blue wrapped around his hips.

With the final relaxation of my arms and shoulders, my uniform plops down to my feet. Sasuke struggles to not look, but he remains firm. I have to respect him for that courtesy.

Getting the dress shirt buttoned and pants at my waist, I let him know the situation has been resolved. He eagerly whips around and awes disappointedly. His playful nature is starting to not be so bothersome, but it's still just as bothersome.

"Are you going to get ready or not," I ask, irritated.

"Calm down, it's still going to take us a few days to get to the hideout whether or not we leave now."

"Exactly. _Four_ days to be precise, and that means I'll have spent nine days in this overpopulated wasteland instead of where I need to be: working."

"Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to tell you. Sakkon and Tayuya are dealing with all of the work you usually do. So we can have a few days off, stretch our legs, before going back."

My mouth drops, "You let _those two_ take charge? Are you an idiot?! No, scratch that, I shouldn't have to ask, I already know that you are."

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger. Take it up with Orochimaru if you've got a problem with it."

I fix my posture, hands on my hips, "Are you telling me this was Lord Orochimaru's idea?"

"That's what I said, yes."

"Oh my..." I shake my head.

I like to believe Lord Orochimaru's word is the gospel, but the truth of the matter is that his mental strategies are so bizarre. I couldn't imagine anything worse than those two hot-heads keeping the hideout in check. They're scary enough, so the slaves won't be an issue, but that's all. They know how to lead a brigade, not run a fortress.

Kimimaro would be ideal. He's loyal to the end, has an even-tempered, rightfully-screwed head on his shoulders, and was born to lead. It's unfortunate, the bedridden state he's in. I've tried my best to cure his illness, but his structure is so foreign with little to no medical information. I stop by as often as I can, help with the morphine so the pain isn't as great, and keep him company, but with the idiots that follow Lord Orochimaru, that's hardly ever possible anymore. It seems like everyone has forgotten about him since his situation worsened.

And now I'm dealt another issue, one I can't solve for a few days. I just pray that when I _do_ return, the hideout is still there, not collapsed into itself with everyone inside crushed to death, spattered around like a bashed-in watermelon.

"Let's go." I make my tone firm and serious, leaving no room for jesting.

Sasuke stares into me, his gaze almost challenging my own.

He sits on the bed, arms folded, "No."

"Dammit Sasuke, I don't have time-"

"Yes you do." The intensity in his stare is unwavering. "I didn't just draw up this whole scheme for kicks. You said you never had time to relax, so I provided you with that time. Now you are going to sit down and _enjoy_ your vacation."

I stretch my spine, "I don't _want_ a vacation. And even if I did, I would've chosen much better company."

"Like Orochimaru?"

I tense up, not wanting to display the embarrassment of my thoughts, but too nervous to do anything else.

"The whole point of a truth game is to be _honest_ , Kabuto. You think I can't tell when you're lying?"

I look away, "I was hoping you wouldn't."

"So it's true then. You love Orochimaru."

"Woah, who said anything about _love_?"

"Would you prefer it if I said obsession?"

"What the hell's your problem? It was just a stupid game. And who said it was any business of yours to know who I'm currently infatuated with? You're always around, wanting to know everything about me, but I can't get the same courtesy-even if I had the choice, and wanted it to be so. Why won't you just leave me alone?"

He shoots up, "Because I don't want to!"

I relax my shoulders a bit, softening the furrow in my brows.

He sighs, "I _can't_ , I don't know why. Whenever I'm alone and have time to think, you're there, in my head, and I can't get you out again until I see you, and even then, you're always there. I think about you a lot, Kabuto. I…" He bites his lip, "I'm always thinking about you!"

I gasp softly.

To hear him say something like that, and about me, it was the last thing I was expecting. I used to make it pretty clear that I never wanted him around, I loathed every second I was forced to spend with him, and yet, he can't stop thinking about me? Me, Kabuto, the man that wished every day for a year that he would drop dead or disappear forever. That is, until he started to grow on me, when I finally cracked open the door and let him in, the day I decided hating him like that was pointless.

He shouldn't feel that way about me, it's not right, not after what I thought and let fester for so long, not after all the fake smiles I'd put on just so he'd go away without suspecting a thing, not after all the graphic visualizations of his death that would play on repeat.

He shouldn't feel that way about me.

He shifts the focus, "Why don't you ask yourself why you convince yourself that you hate me, then put your hands all over me when I kiss you?"

I keep quiet.

"Because you don't know, do you?"

I take a breath, "Okay..." I drop my hands from my hips and cautiously make my way around the bed to Sasuke. He still burns with hostility and frustration, stepping back a little when I approach. I make my movements as unthreatening as humanly possible.

I grab his shoulders and throw him into me, holding him comfortably. He gasps and freezes, putting his arms up in surprise. Ignoring the voice in my head saying I don't deserve to do this, I stay there, embracing Sasuke. Right now, all he needs is a hug.

His arms reach around my form.

Now that he's calmed down enough, and the agonizing tension has melted away, I speak up, "Where do you want to go to relax?"

Spying is something I excel at, something I bet I was born to do. Lying isn't easy against those who already know me personally, but on the job, it's second nature to put on that mask of a smile. It's so easy to deceive, to trick someone into believing a reality that shall never seek fruition. But with this "ardor for other people" stuff, it's like trying to untangle an unsunderable knot. People are so hard to read in this context because they're constantly trying to seal away the hidden truth, the hidden truth that is so obvious to some and cloaked to others. But if they do that, how will anyone know what they feel?

It's exactly that. They won't.

Sasuke and I leave for a café far from the hotel. I read about it briefly in a pamphlet, and it sounded the most appropriate for a romantic outing, I suppose. It has a terrific view of the town and surrounding meadows. The atmosphere is quiet, so if Sasuke feels like chatting away, I have no choice but to listen-which exactly what he wants. He requested it, even.

We decided to go as ourselves instead of transforming. My face isn't well known to many, so I didn't have an issue there, but Sasuke tore up a hotel in Shukuba Town a couple of years back, _and_ he's an Uchiha. He says not to worry since no one really knows his identity until he activates the Sharingan, but I can't help being nervous.

As soon as we step out into the lobby, the old woman eyes us like we've snuck in without paying. She doesn't say anything though. Leaving the hotel, Sasuke laces his fingers in mine.

It's weird, suddenly holding someone's hand when so used to no such action. The gesture is warming, too warming. Our hands are starting to sweat, and that I could really do without, but it's a condition I accepted, so might as well not make a scene and ruin everyone's good mood.

Oddly enough, no one looks, gawks, points or guffaws. It's as if nothing has been stirred, the normality of the day stays rigid. And on top of that, no one recognizes Sasuke.

Good, my biggest worry is gone, and now my blood pressure can stabilize.

Sasuke's grip tightens as he sideway-smiles at me. "Anxious?"

"Something like that."

"Well get used to it, we have a long walk ahead of us."

I sigh, already drained of this charade. "I assume the walk will be in silence?"

"Not unless that's what you really want, but then we'd have to pass the time in _other_ ways."

"Alright, talking it is then."

Has Sasuke been hinting flirtatious insinuations long? I only noticed it this once, but that could be because I'm paying much more attention to what he says now. When he confessed of thinking of me, it was then I decided my cyclical thoughts were right, that he deserves a little more than a recurring jab in the ribs. After all, I've been hanging something over his head ever since I first met him, and it's not even his fault. He can't help what clan he was born into, the talents he possesses, or Lord Orochimaru fawning over him. None of that he can control, and I hated him for it. It was so pointless, all of it. A year wasted.

But, maybe if I'm more polite, at least a little, to the point where it's genuine enough to wash me of this perturbation I have with him, it would make our time together less uneasy. And even though I'd be true to myself in giving up this challenge early, I do owe Sasuke something. I thought this ordeal was just another flicker of his leverage over me-being my lord's favorite pet and all-but instead it was just him thinking and looking out for me.

Despite my pride keeping me from saying it, I needed this break.

"Okay then, what's your favorite color?"

I face him, "Uhh, I don't know."

"You don't know? What the hell kind of color is that?"

"I've never thought about it."

"Well start thinking so this conversation can be underway."

"I don't know, purple, I guess."

"Eww, that's a terrible color."

"Oh, because you're some expert in style."

"I've got plenty more than you."

"Are we just going to banter back and forth the whole way?"

"That's what we normally do."

I release a sigh.

"Okay, let's be serious then." We walk a few steps without saying anything. "So, kill anyone lately?"

"What the-what kind of a question is that for a date?"

"Ahh, so you admit this is a date."

"I-ugh..." Damn, really set myself up for that one.

He brings up his free hand and holds the fold of my arm, "Nu-uh, can't back out now. So, my _date_ , how are you liking your vacation so far?"

"Considering it just started 15 minutes ago, pretty bland."

"Everyone's a critic."

"Sasuke," I begin formulating the question coherently to my thoughts, banishing any unwanted spurts of inconsistency, wanting to make this fetus of a connection grow into a wholesome form...

And then it's gone.

It still dangles in my mind, taunting me, but my capability of speaking the words is gone.

Sasuke stares at me, "...Uhh, should I be worried?"

"No, never mind. It was nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

I want him to open up to me, but I don't think that's the kind of response I'd get from a question like that.

"I'm sorry."

My eyes go wide before landing on Sasuke's sorrowful expression.

"What do you-?"

"About last night, about the Orochimaru stuff. I guess I never really considered how it would make you feel, confessing something that you'd rather keep to yourself. I know how I'd feel if it were me in that situation, but I just cared about the answer."

I hesitate a second, pending for an incoming "gotcha" moment, but it has yet to come.

"It's alright," I finally say. It's not easy saying you forgive someone for something they did and you're still steamed about it, but when the words left my mouth, they were true. "I can't be all that upset, not when it sort of helped me."

" _Helped_?"

I focus in the road ahead. The cafe is still a great distance, but it's visible now, the tiny little square sitting at the top of a hill past the village.

"Hey Kabuto," I face Sasuke, "Do you think you'll enjoy spending the day with me? Genuinely?"

I blink, "Well yeah, why wouldn't I?"

He doesn't answer.

We just continue walking.

Maybe it was the lighting of the sun, or mild shade from a source I couldn't locate, or some other variable overlooked that made me see it, the red in his face.

I think it may be understandable, but I can't get yesterday out of my head. Sure, it's a little hazy, but not by too much. I can even remember the little details, like what Sasuke said. The thoughts alone start getting me hyped up, though I don't dare let it show. I'd never hear the end of it.

I got this same feeling after Lord Orochimaru actually kissed me, among other things. Only, it's different. There's something more...conspicuous, I just can't put my finger on it.

Even though we agreed we'd talk along the way, the rest of the walk is virtually whist. I don't mind too much, after all, I get to indulge in nature's beauty. However, if Sasuke's this quiet, he's thinking. I won't bother asking, he'll tell me-if I need to know-when he's ready.

Our hands are still intertwined.

It feels nice.

We finally get there, and the daylight is barely diminished, but diminished nonetheless. Our seats are designated at the front left corner, perfect for sightseeing. Sasuke gets a glass of Pinot noir, while I myself enjoy a Boba Tea. We order a small party dish to share. Soft instrumental music plays in the background.

It's as if the setting is perfect.

My chest tightens.

Why am I so nervous all of a sudden?

I realize this is my first date, but there's no reason to go blow it out of proportion. After all, the fact remains that this is still Sasuke. It's not like it's a real date, even if I dip myself into the crazed fairytale of unsuspecting romance. The feeling may be enough to sway me, but I will always return to the facts.

"Hey Kabuto..."

"Hmm?"

"I've been wondering about something. Well, about yesterday..."

"Don't worry, it's water under the bridge now."

"Huh?"

"I just mean you don't have to dwell on it or anything. It's not like..."

The look in Sasuke's eyes cuts my sentence short. His facial expression is crunched into aggravation, but it's like those eyes are pleading for me not to finish my statement.

"It's not like what?"

I don't know about Sasuke, but this situation has severely escalated for me. My heart beats in my throat.

"I-it's not like it changes what we have."

The ire is swiped away from his face, "Which is...?"

"Well, you know."

Please don't make me say it. Yesterday was embarrassing enough. I still can't believe this man's seen me naked.

"I don't think I do."

Oh, you bastard. You just couldn't help yourself, and now I'm put in an awkward position. I'm sure I can deflect somehow.

"Well I think you _do_ know."

"But I don't. What you _think_ won't change that."

Ahh! Why is he being so stubborn? I could've played that better, but he must sense how I'm feeling at least. Does he want to hear it that badly?

Look at those eyes, scrutinizing me like I'm a puzzle in need of being put together.

"A very strong..."

He leans forward, unknowingly, I'm sure. I shouldn't wait too long, he may get impatient. Still, I can't get over the sight of Sasuke being on the edge of his seat.

It should be easy, it's only one word, one lousy word, and instead of speaking, it's taking much effort to ensure my lip doesn't quiver. If it wasn't so vexatious to say, I wouldn't be so restive right now.

"...friendship."

Sasuke pauses in place for a moment, hand still holding up his chin. He doesn't even swallow, he just stares back at me. I wonder if he's gone into shock.

" _Friendship_ …?" He quietly asks, expecting no answer. He looks away, holding his wine glass with the other hand. His eyes close and a smile appears.

Only, it feels so sad.


	12. Unforeseen Strength

The "sit and talk" portion of our date is basically over, with the talk part being severely underused. It seems like something in the atmosphere has changed after I confessed Sasuke and I were friends. I can't understand why it'd be so shocking. I mean, we _do_ spend quite a bit of time together, it would take a machine not to get attached. It's like a puppy you never really wanted, came across, and now can't live without. Not saying I can't live without Sasuke! It's just, yeah. It's as I said.

After leaving the cafe, we travel uphill more. I noticed a cliff in the distance, looming over the ocean far below.

Sasuke keeps his hands in his pockets, watching the ground as he walks. Every now and then along the way, I'll glance back at him-half to make sure he's there, half to conclude if he's sulking or not.

The breeze is rough, whipping our hair strongly in all directions. Stepping on the grass is barely audible with such gusts. The salt in the air has a calming sensation with the crashing waves. Little sprinkles make it up to our location every few minutes. I watch the sky as I walk, thoroughly content. It's now that I realize just how much I missed the outside. Being so tied up in missions whenever I do leave the hideout, I never truly drink in the sights, that blue sky.

I stop walking, still looking at the sky before tearing away my enticed gaze. Turning to my side, I watch Sasuke, who still moves with his eyes glued to the ground.

"Sasuke..."

He stops, looking up at me with the look that I've caught him doing something he thought was so expertly hidden.

I smile genuinely, happily, "Thank you."

The wind brushes by, adding some needed exaggeration to this scene.

"I really needed this."

"Uhh, sure."

I face the ocean. We're not quite at the peak of the hill, but it's enough to satisfy me. Sasuke merges up to my side, watching the beauty before us.

"I didn't mean anything negative when I said we were friends, Sasuke."

He looks at me, but I keep my sights forward. I wouldn't be able to say this if I was looking at him.

"I... was embarrassed to admit how close we've gotten-not because of yesterday. It was, exposing, but not what made us close. For a while now, everywhere I turn, you're always there, Sasuke. Whether it's a mission, work, or casually laying around in my room, your there. I do... uhm..."

I bite my lip, fighting my urges of keeping my mouth shut.

"...c-care about you."

"Kabuto, please stop."

I face him. The antsy moment has passed, and is shattered to those words.

He mumbles to himself. "It's not fair..."

Without giving me another glance, he turns away and starts walking down the hill. "We should be getting back."

We don't say another word to each other all the way to the front of the town.

It will take us a few days to get back to the hideout, and if this will be the atmosphere, I'll go a separate route. I don't know what I said to drastically change Sasuke's attitude, but now I wish I had said nothing, that I did nothing, and I just left when I first decided I was going to.

An hour has passed, and nothing has been said since he decided to leave.

Why is it that _he_ gets the last say?! I've practically been begging to leave for the last day, and he wouldn't give an inch. I guess it's all about what Sasuke wants. _He_ wanted to stay, and now _he_ wants to leave. I don't have to put up with this, I never needed to. Why did I put myself through this? I could've avoided it all if I just left after discovering this mission was a bust. And, even now, I'm following him.

It's disgusting.

Why is it like I can't pry myself away from him? No matter what my mind says, I stay with him. I hate it, I hate this feeling of dependency. Because I do, I depend on Sasuke. Whatever for, whether it be loneliness, comfort, or fun, I depend on him, and it makes me sick.

I grab the heart of my shirt.

Even at the hideout, all the time, I've been secretly hoping Sasuke would just show up out of nowhere like he always does. How did I never notice before? How could I be so blind to my own feelings? And even though I realize there's something there for Sasuke, it's still not clear.

This battling of emotions rattles my brain and gives me palpitations I'm so thrown off.

I stop walking.

I need to calm down, remember why I'm here today, remember what my purpose is. I've dedicated everything to Lord Orochimaru.

...Everything...

And what has it wrought?

Nothing.

Nothing of my own.

Just a routine for someone I hold above myself, someone that can-for the most part-do without me.

Sasuke is a good twenty feet away. Now is when he decides to turn around. At least he still gives me the courtesy of a delayed reaction.

"What're you doing?"

With a deep breath, I drop my arm and go to my left, off-trail. My hands roll into fists as I stride away.

"Hey, where are you-?"

I leave Sasuke behind as he stands there dumbfounded.

This is enough. It's now or never. I'm the master of my own fate, so I should stop depending on others to fill the emptiness in my life. I should fill it myself, with goals and dreams. I remember a time when I used to have those, but it's so faded I don't even know what I was striving for.

I jump up to the trees and glide away. I pay no attention to the exhilarating feeling of flying in the air, I'm on a mission. My mind has been made, and now I need to put all of my cards on the table, because it's all or nothing. And if I lose, I can start over or end it all. It's my choice, _mine_ , and to be honest, I'm scared. It could be the raging emotions fueling this mentality, but there's no backing away now, not when I realize my options. I can flourish, or I can diminish. Everyone wishes for something better, so why shouldn't I?

No more making excuses for myself. This is what I've always wanted, but I was never able to draw up the nerve to actually do it.

I have Sasuke to thank, because of him, I can't run from my thoughts and feelings. They finally caught up with me because I let him in.

Whatever is bothering Sasuke pokes at me, it bothers me, but I also owe it to myself to put _me_ first for once. Whatever I've done, I've done for other people.

It's not fair.

Night passes over.

A sweaty mess, I drop down to the grassy floor and lean against a tree, huffing. I didn't need breaks before because I was so distracted, but now I'm so focused.

It's exhausting.

A part of me wishes I didn't leave Sasuke, that I just continued on that same trail I have been for years. A part of me wants this loneliness to disappear. And keeping others close by doing what they want is a good way of ensuring it. That part of me is still there, but I must ignore it if I want to prosper.

I want to be determined about this, but...loneliness is so strong.

My eyes pop open.

"What? Did I fall asleep?"

It is still dark, but a dim blue. I couldn't have been out for more than a few hours. As I stand, my eyes burn and feel puffy. I just hope it doesn't interfere with my journey.

"So..."

A voice says from behind, only for me to notice the tone and drop my shoulders.

"Sleep well?"

He walks to my front.

"What do you want, Sasuke?" Only when I'm in my most vulnerable state would Sasuke show up? It would've been a nice change if a stranger was curious about me for once.

"When I saw you run off like that, I figured you probably knew a better way back than I did, so I followed you."

"You're such a stalker."

"Yeah, but you like it."

"Leave me alone." I shove past him and continue walking.

"About yesterday...!" He tries to catch up with me.

"It doesn't matter now."

He follows close behind, "No, I mean, you never let me finish what I was going to say at the cafe."

"Why would it matter now? I thought you were intent on getting back." Stop bothering me Sasuke, you're too distracting from the matter at hand.

"I wanted to say that I don't regret a thing. The time I got to spend with you, what I got to do with you, it was so magical. I let something bother me yesterday that I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry for ruining our good time…"

My face burns hot, but I need him to stop talking. If he continues, I'll want to...

"But, then last night, I watched you cry for so long before you finally passed out. I'm sorry I left you like that but..." He races in front of me and pushes me back.

"Stop it!" My shout distracts me from the fact that tears reside in my eyes. "I don't care about what you have to say. I don't need your pathetic and whiny excuses, just go away and never come back. That's all I've ever wanted since I first met you."

There's a silence for several moments.

"Is that... true?"

"Sasuke, you have no issues talking to me when it's in your best interest, but when _I_ want something its put to the backburner, so just screw off."

"What do you mean, when you want something? You've never told me!"

"Well what about last night then? You said you were there while I tortured myself, yet you did nothing!"

"Because of me! You were crying because of me."

"...What?"

"I heard you."

I stiffen, feeling violated, like a private aspect of mine has been stolen.

"Well that was then and this is now."

"You don't mean that. I can tell you're just trying to keep a brave face."

"Don't act as though you can read me, you don't know anything about me!"

"I know you're more willing to grovel a person than tell them you love them!"

He waits before continuing.

"...Because it's so much easier to be on the sidelines. You're close enough to watch, but not close enough to get involved. The coward's way-"

I shove him back, "Who do you think you are? You have no right to go poking around in my life, to mess with my head!"

"You can't even accept the fate you've chosen. You're so stupid, Kabuto! You're a God damn idiot!"

"I'd rather be dumb than lost. You've gotten so caught up with Lord Orochimaru and the sound ninja, that you've completely forgotten the reason you even came here. You tossed away your purpose, and now you're lost, and for that you'll never be able to defeat Itachi!"

He slaps me.

"..."

He glares menacingly, "Shut. Up."

I've never seen him so stung before. I deserved that slap, I just couldn't stop myself. I wanted him to feel the way he made me feel. And he knows it, that everything he said about me was true.

"You know that I know you better than you say I do."

"Why? Why is it okay for you to know me and not the other way around?"

"If you want to know me Kabuto, listen to me, to what I say, how I react, the things I do. I know you because I pay attention to you." His expression looks relatable to anguish, "That's it. That's all I do is just pay attention."

I open my mouth, then close it. For once, I have nothing to say, my mind has completely drawn a blank. Not even a sarcastic remark slithers over.

Sasuke looks to be on the verge of tears. I'm sure saying something like that must be heart-wrenching, that one can know so much of another, hoping to receive the same respect, yet attaining none. I look to the side, feeling shameful for not being more observant. It is _supposed_ to be one of my most endearing qualities as a spy, after all.

I return my gaze, "Fuck you."

He slightly gasps, eyes widening, tears banking. I keep a straight face, furrowing my brows a bit. He takes a breath, then hopes to speak, but I turn around and leap up and away, from tree branch to tree branch.

 **Sorry this took so long to update, and for the shorter-than-usual chapter. I promise the next one will be up shortly~ :)**


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